Batman: *working on a case by himself in the Hall of Justice*
Superman and Wonder Woman: *watching him*
Superman: *whispering* The good news is, he’s the best at what he does.
Wonder Woman: *whispering back* The bad news is, he knows it.
Tag: clark kent
Superman: *throws his hands up in exasperation* Thank you, @hillshollow !
Batman: Hn.
Superman: Just this morning, at breakfast, for crying out loud! *imitating Bruce’s voice* “Clark, pass the ketchup.” Tone. “Jordan, you seem to enjoy eating garbage.” Tone. “Diana –” Well, you did dial it down for that one.
Batman: *puffing out his chest and putting his hands on his hips* And this is necessary at all times?
Superman:
Superman: *eyes glowing red* ARGH! *walks out of the hall*
Superman: There’s just no winning with you, Bruce!
Batman:
Batman: *smirks*
I imagine ‘that tone’ is Bruce’s usual voice…🤔
When your bestfriend accuses you of unnecessarily intimidating someone…
Superman: You say I have a face.
Batman: *scoffs*
Superman: You have a tone, and it says, “I’m gonna hit somebody.”
Batman: Barry, could you –
The Flash: It wasn’t me, I swear! *runs away*
Batman: About Gotham Bay, Arthur –
Aquaman: I am not in the mood, Bruce. *swims away*
Batman:
Batman: Hrrn.
Superman: *standing next to Bruce* 😏
Batman: -Tt-
Batman: Go ahead, Clark. Fly away.
Superman: Noooope.
Batman: Ugh. *walks away*
Superman: Right, @dangerous-doodle ?
I imagine ‘that tone’ is Bruce’s usual voice…🤔
When your bestfriend accuses you of unnecessarily intimidating someone…
Superman: You say I have a face.
Batman: *scoffs*
Superman: You have a tone, and it says, “I’m gonna hit somebody.”
Superman: *throws his hands up in exasperation* Thank you, @hillshollow !
Batman: Hn.
Superman: Just this morning, at breakfast, for crying out loud! *imitating Bruce’s voice* “Clark, pass the ketchup.” Tone. “Jordan, you seem to enjoy eating garbage.” Tone. “Diana –” Well, you did dial it down for that one.
Batman: *puffing out his chest and putting his hands on his hips* And this is necessary at all times?
Superman:
Superman: *eyes glowing red* ARGH! *walks out of the hall*
Superman: There’s just no winning with you, Bruce!
Batman:
Batman: *smirks*
Superman: *grabs a pair of swimming shorts from a duffel bag*
Superman: *starts removing his suit*
Superman: *pauses*
Batman: Hn.
Superman: *sighs*
Superman: We’re only on our third “the world is screwed” issue in, what, three years?
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Yeah, Bruce. Live a little. Also, start packing. You need to teleport back to earth – preferably to the Caribbean – before sundown.
When your bestfriend accuses you of unnecessarily intimidating someone…
Superman: You say I have a face.
Batman: *scoffs*
Superman: You have a tone, and it says, “I’m gonna hit somebody.”
Batman: *lying on a gurney in the Batcave*
Superman: Is he well enough for me to start mothering him unbearably, Alfred?
Alfred: Hmm. Better let him rest up a while first.
At the Watchtower…
Batman and Superman: *watching footage of Nightwing fighting a horde of alien assassins in Blüdhaven*
Batman:
Batman: *walks away*
Superman: Where are you going? Dick needs our help.
Batman: He will be fine.
Superman: How do you know?
Batman: Because I trained him.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Batman, internally: Also, Clark, what makes you think that I’m not walking away to speak with Alfred in private and ask him to round up my other children to come help out their big brother, my eldest son?
Wonder Woman: I just hate to see you two guys fight.
Batman: *holding a kryptonite-lined batarang to Clark’s kiss curl and gasping for air* We’re not fighting.
Superman: *lifting Bruce by the throat and tilting his own head backwards* This isn’t fighting.
When you invite the Super Family over for a “leisurely Sunday cookout"…
Bruce [to the Batkids]: This is a competition. We need to win it. Please do your jobs.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 