Tim: *carefully running his hands over the dusty velvet Davenport in the Manor living room*
Bruce: …
Alfred: …
Dick: …
Damian: *smirks*
Jason: *shrugs* The Vicodin seems to be working. He claims that it makes the furniture feel friendly.
Jason, this is not what your adoptive father meant when he asked you to watch over your sleep-deprived, younger brother while they were gone.
Visiting one of your brother’s Gotham City safe houses be like…
Jason: Something’s buggin’ me…
Tim: Yeah. Me, too. There’s a human skull in your living room.
It’s for those days when he’s all broody and has to deal by acting out “Hamlet”. Like, duh, Timmy.
Discussing how to take down a criminal with an IQ of 145…
Red Hood: Timmy, we’re smarter than he is!
Red Hood: Well, you’re smarter. You’re the smartest person in the world. Ever. I mean, since the beginning of time.
When Nightwing suggests that it might be a good “brotherly bonding” activity for you to investigate a case together…
Red Robin: *pointing to a partially hidden footprint* You should have seen this, Damian, but you were expending too much effort trying to undermine me.
Robin: I assure you that it takes no effort whatsoever.
Damian: Drake. I often find you to be a real pain in my butt.
Tim: *deadpan* Wow. If I weren’t so shocked, I might be offended.
When hardly anything fazes you anymore…
Red Hood: You came to tell me something?
Red Robin: We have to dig remains out of an industrial shredder for our investigation.
Red Hood: Oh, good. I thought it was going to be something bad.
Jason: Yeaaaaah. Can’t eat pie that fast or you’ll cramp. That is a science.
Tim: Someday I would love to live in a world governed by your rules of physics.
Also, he’s only had three hours of sleep in four days. He can do whatever the heck he wants, Jay.
Kon: How are you?
Tim: Everyone keeps asking me that. I don’t know how to answer that question!
Jason: Did you know that fencing goes back to the twelfth century?
Damian: Fencing? Pfft. Do you know what’s even nerdier than fencing? Knowing when it began.
Tim: I don’t think you’re a nerd, Jay –
Jason and Damian: Shut up, dork!
Tim: *walks in on Dick and Jason excitedly discussing the previous night’s events*
Tim: *wiping dried-up drool off from his face and onto his coffee-stained pajamas*
Tim: What party?
Jason: Aw. The two saddest words in the English language.
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