When your brother’s starting to go into Brood Mode, but you’re in the middle of a battle for your lives…
Red Hood [to Red Robin]: You can beat yourself up about it later, I will help!
Tag: caffeinated crusader
After the nth Batfamily strategy meeting that week…
Red Hood: Okay, Timbo, that’s fine. But if you change the plan again, you will hurt my feelings and then I will have to hurt your everything.
Supervillain: How did you know my name?
Red Robin: It’s called “research”, big boy. Knowledge is power.
Why Jason should consider installing a peephole…
Tim: If you’re thinking of shooting through the door, please don’t. It’s Tim.
Family Patrol Night…
Red Robin: *holding Robin by the scruff of the neck* Hey, if you want, you can babysit this brat and I’ll go with Zsasz to the GCPD.
Red Hood: *walking towards the bound and gagged criminal* No. No, thank you. Bring on the ex-con.
Have you considered: April 1st in the Wayne Household. There’s only One Rule, don’t prank Alfred
Tim: *walks into the Wayne Manor library with a Bubble Boy suit on*
Jason:
Tim: Go on. Lemme have it.
Jason: *looks up from the book he’s reading* Excuse me?
Tim: I’m ready.
Jason: For… ?
Tim: *smirks* You tell me.
Jason: Ohh kay. *goes back to reading his book*
Tim: *in a singsong voice* I don’t have all day, Jay. Patrol’s gonna be crazy, you know how it is on this day. But I really wanna make the most of it this year, so I’m giving you a chance. *arms wide open* I’m heeeeere.
Jason: *shuts his book and sighs* Look, Timbo, if you’re having one of your “moments", I can –
Tim: *chuckles and points at him* Ohhh ohhh you’re good. You’re really good.
Jason: *exasperated* At what? What is this about, Tim?
Tim: Come ooon, man! *looks at the ceiling, as if expecting something to drop down from there* Don’t let me down this year, Jay. I came up with an algorithm and made a suit and everything.
Jason: You know what, you’re making me uncomfortable, so… *gets up from the couch* Imma head out.
Tim: *wobbles towards him, tripping over his suit* No, no, no, no, wait! Jay! Jason! Peter! I’m good! You can do whatever you want! Name it, I’m ready for it! Team up with the little brat if you have to – *voice gets drowned out by Jason shutting the door*
Jason: *shakes his head and dials a number on his mobile phone*
Jason: Hey. It’s me. Yeah, about that… *looks around to make sure no one’s listening*
Jason: *chuckles* He’s so sleep-deprived that he’s a day early. We might have to step up our game, though.
Damain [on the other end of the line]: -Tt-
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
In all seriousness, stay safe on the 1st, kids. Maybe Rule Number 2 is no COVID-19-related pranks, yeah?
Dick: *rubbing his chin thoughtfully* Well, maybe this year it’s different. Maybe he actually wants to be part of the fun.
Jason: *rolls eyes* Yeah, and I’ve never done anything illegal in my life.
Damian: Grayson, I expected more from you.
Tim: *looking disheveled after surviving whatever Jason and Damian had in store for him earlier in the day* Hold on, hold on… Dick’s right. I mean, how well do we really know Bruce anyway?
Duke: But isn’t this a little extreme?
Steph: *scoffs* What, like that’s not his style?
Duke: You’ve got a point.
Cass: … Or we could just ask Alfred?
Babs: Do you honestly think that he wouldn’t be in on this?
All of them: *staring at an empty, tattered, and bloody Batman suit sprawled on the Batcave floor*
Meanwhile…
Alfred: *in his room, shaking his head while looking at April 1 on his calendar* Oh, Master Bruce.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Could be real, could be a prank. What do you guys think?
Bruce: I was just thinking, when my time comes –
Dick: Bruce!
Damian: Father!
Bruce: Listen to me. When my time comes, I want to be buried at sea.
Tim: You what?
Bruce: I want to be buried at sea. It looks like fun.
Jason: Define “fun”.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Also, you might want to have a word with Arthur about that.
Have you considered: April 1st in the Wayne Household. There’s only One Rule, don’t prank Alfred
Tim: *walks into the Wayne Manor library with a Bubble Boy suit on*
Jason:
Tim: Go on. Lemme have it.
Jason: *looks up from the book he’s reading* Excuse me?
Tim: I’m ready.
Jason: For… ?
Tim: *smirks* You tell me.
Jason: Ohh kay. *goes back to reading his book*
Tim: *in a singsong voice* I don’t have all day, Jay. Patrol’s gonna be crazy, you know how it is on this day. But I really wanna make the most of it this year, so I’m giving you a chance. *arms wide open* I’m heeeeere.
Jason: *shuts his book and sighs* Look, Timbo, if you’re having one of your “moments", I can –
Tim: *chuckles and points at him* Ohhh ohhh you’re good. You’re really good.
Jason: *exasperated* At what? What is this about, Tim?
Tim: Come ooon, man! *looks at the ceiling, as if expecting something to drop down from there* Don’t let me down this year, Jay. I came up with an algorithm and made a suit and everything.
Jason: You know what, you’re making me uncomfortable, so… *gets up from the couch* Imma head out.
Tim: *wobbles towards him, tripping over his suit* No, no, no, no, wait! Jay! Jason! Peter! I’m good! You can do whatever you want! Name it, I’m ready for it! Team up with the little brat if you have to – *voice gets drowned out by Jason shutting the door*
Jason: *shakes his head and dials a number on his mobile phone*
Jason: Hey. It’s me. Yeah, about that… *looks around to make sure no one’s listening*
Jason: *chuckles* He’s so sleep-deprived that he’s a day early. We might have to step up our game, though.
Damain [on the other end of the line]: -Tt-
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
In all seriousness, stay safe on the 1st, kids. Maybe Rule Number 2 is no COVID-19-related pranks, yeah?
A sleep-deprived Robin fed up with the rest of the Teen Titans…
Tim: *throws hands up in the air* Youths!
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 