Family Patrol Night…
Red Hood: Why didn’t you stop me?
Red Robin: What?
Red Hood: Why did you let me harass that guy? *gestures to a bound and gagged criminal out of earshot*
Red Robin: So, you think the fact that you got annoyed and became incredibly insensitive with another human being is my fault?
Red Hood: Yeah! Lookit, whenever I’m about to do some stupid-ass stuff, you’re the one who calls me on it, and you’re then damn-sure the one who makes me stop.
Jason [to Roy]: Do you really think I care about what my brothers think? Tim camped out in a wizard outfit to see the latest “Harry Potter” movie.
Tim: You swore you wouldn’t tell! We even high-fived on it, Jay!
Jason: Timbo, we high-five on everything.
Tim: That’s such a lame excuse. I’m totally pissed at you. High-five!
Steph: Last night I told you that I was falling in love with you. And you know what you said?
Tim: “Thank you”?
Steph: You asked me if I wanted to go get pizza.
Tim: No… “Pineapple pizza”.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Or the story of how Red Robin got a black eye.
Jason: You’re dumb.
Tim: See, now you’re just embarrassing yourself. Pick someone else to annoy.
Jason: I don’t pick ‘em. They pick me.
Tim: *gesturing to Goliath* Why the giant bat?
Damian: Why the stupid face?
Tim: Touché.
Red Hood: *arrives at his top-secret safe house* Hello, safe hou –
Red Hood:
Tim: *on Jason’s bed, looking like he hasn’t slept for three days straight, still wearing his muddy patrol boots, and typing at 200 words-per-minute on his laptop*
Red Hood: What are you doing?
Tim: Oh, um, I got tired of trying to find my safe house, so I just set up shop here.
Red Hood: Oh. Okay. That’s not weird.
Dick: *walks past Tim and Damian’s shared bedroom*
Dick: *hears loud thuds, scraping noises and muffled insults*
Dick: *knocks gently on the door* How’s it going in there?
Tim & Damian: GO AWAY!
Jason: *lights a cigarette by his doorway across from theirs* Wow. They kinda harmonized on that. Cool.
When Nightwing’s away, the other Robins will play…
Jason: *holding a bound, gagged, and very bored-looking Damian upside down* Permission to drop the little twerp into a deep, dark hole, Sir?
Tim: Granted.
Damian: -Tt-
When you’re trying to turn over a new leaf but your brothers miss the “chaotic-but-fun” you…
Jason: What is that?
Tim: *wiggles his eyebrows* Looks like a fuse.
Jason: All right, what exactly are you planning?
Dick: We’re planning to get you back. We want our brother back, the way he used to be.
Damian: Todd, we are well aware of how much you used to like fire, explosions…
Damian: *hands Jason a lighter*
Jason: *stares at it*
Jason: Nice try. That was a long time ago.
Tim: Really?
Jason:
Jason: *looks at the fuse again*
Jason: So, where does this go?
Dick: Well, I suppose you could find out by crawling over the fence and following the fuse. Or you could find out… *grinning* the Jason way.
Tim: We’re sure that you’ll make the right decision.
Jason: Guys, I’m telling you. Things are different now! I’m an adult, I have responsibilities. I’m just not a sixteen-year-old maniac anymore who –
Jason: *hears a click, then sees that his hand has already flicked the lighter on and is holding it to the fuse*
Jason: Huh. Interesting.
When you’re trying to turn over a new leaf but your brothers miss the “chaotic-but-fun” you…
Jason: What is that?
Tim: *wiggles his eyebrows* Looks like a fuse.
Jason: All right, what exactly are you planning?
Dick: We’re planning to get you back. We want our brother back, the way he used to be.
Damian: Todd, we are well aware of how much you used to like fire, explosions…
Damian: *hands Jason a lighter*
Jason: *stares at it*
Jason: Nice try. That was a long time ago.
Tim: Really?
Jason:
Jason: *looks at the fuse again*
Jason: So, where does this go?
Dick: Well, I suppose you could find out by crawling over the fence and following the fuse. Or you could find out… *grinning* the Jason way.
Tim: We’re sure that you’ll make the right decision.
Jason: Guys, I’m telling you. Things are different now! I’m an adult, I have responsibilities. I’m just not a sixteen-year-old maniac anymore who –
Jason: *hears a click, then sees that his hand has already flicked the lighter on and is holding it to the fuse*
Jason: Huh. Interesting.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 