When your youngest brother wants to show you his appreciation…
Dick: You’re giving us… stickers?
Damian: Not just any sticker. Those are stickers of a kitty saying, “Me-wow!”.
Tim: We’re not preschoolers.
Damian: Fine, I’ll take them all back.
Jason: I earned this! Back off!
Tag: caffeinated crusader
Mornings at the Manor…
Jason: *munching on strawberry-flavored Poptarts*
Tim: *staring blankly ahead*
Jason: *waves a hand in front of his brother’s face*
Tim:
Jason: *snaps his fingers*
Tim:
Jason: *tips the big mug of coffee over, spilling its contents*
Tim: *slowly turns his head to face Jason*
Jason: You’re being so quiet. Are you upset or are you just rebooting?
Mornings at the Manor…
Jason: *munching on strawberry-flavored Poptarts*
Tim: *staring blankly ahead*
Jason: *waves a hand in front of his brother’s face*
Tim:
Jason: *snaps his fingers*
Tim:
Jason: *tips the big mug of coffee over, spilling its contents*
Tim: *slowly turns his head to face Jason*
Jason: You’re being so quiet. Are you upset or are you just rebooting?
Dick: I can’t believe Tim’s sleeping.
Jason: I had the Little Brat give him two Valiums.
Dick: Why? Was he in a lot of pain?
Jason: Nah. He just wouldn’t shut up.
After meeting Tim for the first time…
Dick: Bruce, you’ve already got two strikes on your record. You adopt one more child and it’s technically a spree.
Damian: Is it okay if I do it for Grayson and not you?
Tim: Yeah.
Damian: Because I really like Grayson.
Jason: We know.
Tim: *slumped on the Batcomputer keyboard*
Jason: Just to be clear: looks like he’s dead. Is he dead?
Dick: It just looks like he’s dead. He’s got, like, coffee stains on him or something. But he’s going to be fine.
Red Hood: *arrives at his top-secret safe house* Hello, safe hou –
Red Hood:
Tim: *on Jason’s bed, looking like he hasn’t slept for three days straight, still wearing his muddy patrol boots, and typing at 200 words-per-minute on his laptop*
Red Hood: What are you doing?
Tim: Oh, um, I got tired of trying to find my safe house, so I just set up shop here.
Red Hood: Oh. Okay. That’s not weird.
Jason: *trying to reach the remote control on the coffee table with his toes, then sighing in exhaustion*
Tim: You’ve got to be the laziest person in the world.
Jason: If you weren’t all the way on the other side of the couch, I’d slap your face.
At a Batfamily meeting…
Red Robin: *nudging and whispering* How’d you do that?
Red Hood: *whispering back* Do what?
Red Robin: *sounding impressed* You were, like, ten feet away from the brat.
Red Hood: *sounding innocent* What are you talking about?
Red Robin: *smirking* I know what I saw.
Red Hood: *grinning* What did you see?
Red Robin: *shrugging* I don’t know. Nothing.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
A little while later…
Damian: ….
Damian: -Tt-
Damian: TOOOOODDDDDDDD!
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 