Why it sometimes takes forever for Batman’s sons to finish their meals (much to Alfred’s chagrin)…
Robin: *staring at a utensil on the dining table* All of my instincts and my training are telling me to use this like a weapon.
– • – • – • – • –
This is me going out on a limb here and assuming that this family still takes the time to eat.
Red Hood: We’re trying to piece together a night and we need your help.
“Ric” Grayson: I don’t remember that night.
Red Robin: We didn’t tell you which night yet.
“Ric”: *shrugs* I don’t remember most evenings.
Robin: *exasperated sigh*
Nightwing [on the Comm Link]: *on his motorcycle, tailing them* Did you two just push Tim out of the moving Batmobile and yell, “You’re out of the team”?!
Red Hood: Now, in hindsight, that does seem kind of rash.
Robin: *pulling into a Batburger drive-through* It was kind of a snap decision.
Discussing your tiny bully of a brother be like…
Jason: Gee, ya think? I mean, I’ve only seen him give you, like, a hundred eye rolls.
Tim: *throws hands up in exasperation* Thank you! I know! It’s like, “Hi, would you like some butter with your eye rolls?”.
Jason: I know! It’s like, “Don’t fill up on eye rolls, Little Brat. Save room for dinner!”.
Damian: *a pair of glinting eyes in the shadows*
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Oh, you two are really gonna get it bad this time.
When you discover that an online quiz about your vigilante family has gone viral among Gothamites…
Tim: The last time I took it, I was a Batman.
Damian: What?! No, no, no, no! Take it again, Drake! Ugh, I have to go recalibrate that stupid quiz!
“Battle for the Cowl”, behind the scenes?
When your younger brother becomes the CEO of Batman, Inc…
Tim: Jason… Look… I’m hoping…
Jason: I would rather eat that piece of chewed up gum on the floor.
Tim: I haven’t even asked you to do anything –
Jason: You bossing me around is a crime against nature.
Tim: Jay, you’re being ridiculous…
Jason: *hisses*
Red Hood: Look, don’t judge me…
Red Hood: *eyes Nightwing from head to toe*
Red Hood: Not that you could in that.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
You’re one to talk, Mr. Pill Helmet.
Discovering a hidden room in Wayne Manor be like…
Tim: What if Bruce has hidden cameras in here?
Jason: Trust me, if he had hidden cameras, I’d have been disowned a long time ago.
When your older brother crashes at your Nest after patrol…
Tim: *typing up a report on a case at 3 AM*
Nightwing: *comes out of the bedroom* I can’t sleep.
Tim: *sighs* What do you want me to about it?
Nightwing: *yawns* Sometimes it helps if you tickle my back and tell me I’m pretty.
Nightwing: *admiring his own reflection on the window* An old lady in a limo once told me that I could be a model.
Red Robin: *hacking into the mainframe* I know, Dick. I stopped you from getting into that limo.
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