a-wayne-at-heart:

The Robins as…

TELEMARKETERS

Dick

  • Flirtatious, even when he doesn’t mean to be (or perhaps the warmth in his voice, in his tone, makes you think so)
  • Ends up as a “therapist” once in a while
  • “Sure, I’ll call you sometime… Got your number right here.”

Jason

  • [You] “Hello? Are you still there?” [Him] *takes his hand off the mouth receiver and coughs up cigarette smoke* Yuuup yup yup, hold on a sec – *nondescript background noises* – So about that vacuum cleaner –
  • Actually admits how much the product he’s selling sucks and recommends better options

Tim

  • Disguise Master Extraordinaire (so much so that one minute you believe you’re speaking with Jeremy Irons, then Fran Drescher the next… Huh?)
  • Explains product features too thoroughly (making you wonder how many degrees you need to have or memes to be familiar with to understand what he’s saying)

Damian

  • “Sir, you would be an idiot not to – Did you not hear what I just – What did you just say to me – How dare you, you fool! – I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE, SIR –” (and make no mistake, he does)
  • He’s reported, he’s fired, and he’s all, “MY FATHER OWNS THIS STUPID COMPANY!”

– • – • – • – • –

So, @lilakriger , did hilarity indeed ensue?Thank you for the suggestion!

a-wayne-at-heart:

#the robins as

If you’re familiar with this tag o’ mine, I’m open to suggestions (as part of my celebrating the New Year with you guys).

I love imagining the Bat-sons in the most mundane, day-to-day, slice-of-life scenarios – think pet owners, gym rats, dance instructors, etc.

I can’t promise I’ll get around to every suggestion, but we’ll see.

P.S. The reason I’ve only been writing these for Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian is because they’re the ones I feel closest to. Apart from Bruce, they’re the ones I’m more well-aquainted with, so.

Ask.

The Robins as…

a-wayne-at-heart:

 CORPORATE EMPLOYEES

Dick

  • Human Resources Head
  • Requires all employees to regularly attend team building/group therapy sessions, many of which he himself leads (though most don’t feel “obligated” to because they actually like him and his programs)
  • Spends majority of his time at work mediating between his brothers, honestly

Jason

  • Chief Security Officer
  • One of the main reasons the entire company can sleep soundly at night
  • He’s thought of everything – from shatterproof glass windows to extensive financial protection strategies to protocols to take down shady bystanders dressed as clowns to –

Tim

  • Chief Executive Officer
  • Deserves an award for putting up with a certain member of the Board of Directors, who he reports to
  • Would rather stay cooped up in his office, working overtime, than travel abroad or go golfing with other executives (and his personal assistant  deserves an award for the daily number of “coffee runs” done in his behalf)

Damian

  • member of the Board of Directors (alongside Bruce, who, in spite of constantly having to deal with headaches caused by arguing with his youngest son, cannot deny the teenager’s business acumen)
  • “You were saying?”, he says as he glowers at another member who’s clearly perturbed by the cow standing beside him at the head of the conference table 

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

The Robins as…

Professional YouTubers

Dick:

  • Vlogs about mundane, day-to-day stuff, like his frustration with chafing in a full bodysuit or what it’s like growing up in a huge family
  • Replies to comments on his videos once in a while, which makes him even more endearing to his followers
  • Titans, in civilian wear, coming in and out of view (Wally: *yelling from the kitchen* D, you still gonna eat this?)

Jason:

  • Weapons – care, reviews, “Top 10” lists, demos
  • Witness protection-level of facial blurring and vocal disguise, and a disclaimer at the beginning of each video to discourage the young’uns from watching his stuff
  • “Gotta go” *abruptly shuts the camera off as Bruce’s shadow enters the frame*

Tim:

  • Life hacks, conspiracy theories, reviews of obscure music albums, meme meta-analyses
  • Videos uploaded during the wee hours of the morning (with him sometimes forgetting that he’s still wearing his blood-soaked uniform that’s tattered to the point of being unrecognizable)
  • “Thank you for attending my TED Talk” *finger guns, winks*

Damian:

  • Meditation techniques, wildlife conservation discussions (guest-starring Selina and his pets)
  • Leadership “seminars” with Jon (who’s constantly rolling his eyes or snickering), sparring sessions with Duke and his Batsisters, baking tutorials with Alfred
  • “Father, I need your opinion on – Father! Wait, don’t – Come back – BRUCE –”

– • – • – • – • – • –

Thank you for the suggestion, @strawberryjei !

Damian: *angrily elbowing Jason while struggling to hold onto his PS4 controller* Todd, will you QUIT IT –

Jason: *playfully elbowing him back and smirking* I don’t get why you’re all pissy when you should be thanking me that I even let you join my channel –

Tim: *tinkering with an old school Nintendo console and upgrading it with Wayne Tech parts* Well, excuse you, but Duke set this channel up –

Dick: *waving to the camera* Over here, guys! Look over here –

– • – • – • – • – • –

It would be a challenge… but absolutely, @ask-elsalvador .

The Robins as…

Professional YouTubers

Dick:

  • Vlogs about mundane, day-to-day stuff, like his frustration with chafing in a full bodysuit or what it’s like growing up in a huge family
  • Replies to comments on his videos once in a while, which makes him even more endearing to his followers
  • Titans, in civilian wear, coming in and out of view (Wally: *yelling from the kitchen* D, you still gonna eat this?)

Jason:

  • Weapons – care, reviews, “Top 10” lists, demos
  • Witness protection-level of facial blurring and vocal disguise, and a disclaimer at the beginning of each video to discourage the young’uns from watching his stuff
  • “Gotta go” *abruptly shuts the camera off as Bruce’s shadow enters the frame*

Tim:

  • Life hacks, conspiracy theories, reviews of obscure music albums, meme meta-analyses
  • Videos uploaded during the wee hours of the morning (with him sometimes forgetting that he’s still wearing his blood-soaked uniform that’s tattered to the point of being unrecognizable)
  • “Thank you for attending my TED Talk” *finger guns, winks*

Damian:

  • Meditation techniques, wildlife conservation discussions (guest-starring Selina and his pets)
  • Leadership “seminars” with Jon (who’s constantly rolling his eyes or snickering), sparring sessions with Duke and his Batsisters, baking tutorials with Alfred
  • “Father, I need your opinion on – Father! Wait, don’t – Come back – BRUCE –”

– • – • – • – • – • –

Thank you for the suggestion, @strawberryjei !

a-wayne-at-heart:

#the robins as

If you’re familiar with this tag o’ mine, I’m open to suggestions (as part of my celebrating the New Year with you guys).

I love imagining the Bat-sons in the most mundane, day-to-day, slice-of-life scenarios – think pet owners, gym rats, dance instructors, etc.

I can’t promise I’ll get around to every suggestion, but we’ll see.

P.S. The reason I’ve only been writing these for Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian is because they’re the ones I feel closest to. Apart from Bruce, they’re the ones I’m more well-aquainted with, so.

Ask.

a-wayne-at-heart:

The Robins as…

DANCE INSTRUCTORS

Dick

  • A lot of different styles, but mostly contempo or jazz
  • Daily outfits range from booty shorts to harem pants
  • Mind-blowing fluidity (and that he’s so easy to look at and utterly approachable is just the cherry on top)

Jason

  • Capoeira (or any style that’s close to a martial art)
  • Free sessions especially held for street kids (with Batburger meals on his tab if they choose to hang out afterwards)
  • Encourages students to embrace their individuality in self-expression

Tim

  • “I said a hip hop, hippie to the hippie, the hip, hip a hop, and you don’t stop, a rock it out”
  • Co-instructs with Cass, who’ll teach ballet from time to time
  • Makes sure to emphasize discipline as much as he does fun

Damian

  • Traditional dances from all over the world (like the Arabian Dabke) – recital-level costumes included
  • Yoga as warm-up (preferrably the one that involves goats)
  • “Water breaks are for the weak”

When your grandsons, in an effort to step out of their father’s shadow, get an apartment of their own…

Nightwing’s uniform: *splayed on the couch along with Dick’s hair products and smelly socks*

Red Hood’s weapons: *lying in wait for someone to accidentally trip on them*

Red Robin’s coffee: *spilled all over the dining table – which also doubles as Tim’s makeshift bed – and his laptop*

Robin’s pets: *walking in and out of the bathroom, soaking wet*

Alfred: *looking around with a deadpan-but-clearly disappointed look on his face*

Alfred: *clears his throat as he steps over a fallen garbage can on the floor*

Alfred: Who washes the dishes?

Jason: *defensively raising his hands in front of his face* Nobody washes the dishes! We eat the food directly off the coffee table and you know it!