Because it’s not easy being the eldest…
Damian: Drake keeps changing the channel!
Tim: Aw, that’s great. Why don’t you tell Bruce on me?
Dick: Now, I’m “Bruce” in this little play? Alright, I refuse to get sucked into this weird little Robin dimension thing, so I’m gonna go and take a nice, long bubble bath because you kids are driving me crazy.
They weren’t actually talking to you, Richard, but I guess it’s a reflex to you by now.
When you can’t wait to find out what Bruce got you for Christmas…
Jason: Alfred! We’ve got to break Alfred. Bruce tells him everything.
Tim: *looking into the distance* His goatee holds so many secrets.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
They said foolishly, not realizing that it’d be easier to get Batman to talk than to break Alfred.
In the middle of a jungle mission (and both of Red Robin’s legs are broken)…
Robin: Well, we definitely can’t leave Drake!
Red Hood: We have to. Timbo, I’m sorry –
Red Robin: No, you’re not.
Red Hood: I am, actually, which, whatever, but –
Robin: *cocks and aims a gun at Red Hood* We are not leaving Drake!
Red Hood: Uh, what do you even think you’re doing?
Robin: I AM TAKING COMMAND!
Red Hood and Red Robin: *look at each other*
Red Hood and Red Robin: *laugh hysterically*
Red Hood: Oh, my goodness gracious! *wipes tears* Okay. Thanks, Little D. I think we needed that.
Red Robin: *clutching his stomach* We did. We really did.
Damian would be the first to recommend leaving Red Robin behind
^ Partly why his two older brothers find the situation hysterical. (He’s changed a lot, though. I think he’d be more protective of his family – including Timmy – by now.)
Bruce and Dick: *arguing in the Batcave*
Tim [to Alfred]: Is it weird that I find the sound of their bickering comforting?
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Because bickering means their family’s on speaking terms, safe for now, still alive.
Red Hood [to Red Robin and Robin]: The two of you agreeing with each other? Now, that’s scary.
Tam: Tim, I fell for you after you fixed my phone and before I found out you could defuse bombs with computer viruses.
On the way to Red Robin’s new safe house…
Steph: I can’t wait to see the inside of Tim’s safe house! I’m gonna learn everything there is to know about him.
Harper: I bet it’s really fancy. Like Wayne-Manor-fancy.
Jason: No. It’s probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he’s on Sleep Mode.
Robin: *sitting on a gargoyle atop the Wayne Enterprises tower, scrolling through the incorrect-batfamily-quotes Tumblr page on his phone*
Robin: -Tt-
Robin: *scoffs* What childish nonsense! I do not talk like that. Drake, on the other hand –
Robin:
Robin: What the…
Robin: Haaaaa – *breaks out in maniacal laughter*
Nightwing: *somersaults from a dark corner, escrima sticks lighted* Stand down, Robin!
Red Hood: *runs out of the stairwell and onto the rooftop, guns cocked* No need to go crazy there, kid!
Red Robin: *lands onto the rooftop and folds his “wings” behind him, bo staff at the ready* Wait till Batman hears of –
Robin: *wheezing*
Nightwing: Where’s… ? *looking around, utterly confused*
Robin: *wiping gleeful tears from his eyes* Where’s what, Grayson?
Red Robin: Don’t act dumb! The villain you were harrassing! Where are they, brat?!
Robin: …
Red Hood: Look, D, I may be the black sheep of the family and probably not the best example, but the use of excessive force –
Robin: *drags his hand down his face in annoyance* Shut. Up.
Robin: *shows them his phone*
His brothers: *dumbfounded*
Robin: Ridiculous, right? Ha ha ha.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Tim: Anyone seen Bruce? He seemed a little down earlier.
Steph: Yeah, he let me choose the music on the way over here, which leads me to believe that he’s given up on life.
Alfred: Master Timothy, here are two pictures. One is your closet; the other is a garbage dump in Blüdhaven. Can you guess which is which?
Tim: *points at one* That one’s the dump?
Alfred: They’re both your closet.
Tim: *sheepishly* Gah, I should’ve guessed that. *to his brothers* He’s good!
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 