Tag: caffeinated crusader

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Crashing at Red Robin’s Nest…

Jason: *places pillows on the couch*

Tim: Don’t sleep there. You can use the bedroom.

Jason: I can’t take your bedroom.

Tim: I’m up at four o’clock in the morning.

Jason: I can’t kick you out of your bed.

Tim: I don’t even sleep.

The Robins as…

a-wayne-at-heart:

 CORPORATE EMPLOYEES

Dick

  • Human Resources Head
  • Requires all employees to regularly attend team building/group therapy sessions, many of which he himself leads (though most don’t feel “obligated” to because they actually like him and his programs)
  • Spends majority of his time at work mediating between his brothers, honestly

Jason

  • Chief Security Officer
  • One of the main reasons the entire company can sleep soundly at night
  • He’s thought of everything – from shatterproof glass windows to extensive financial protection strategies to protocols to take down shady bystanders dressed as clowns to –

Tim

  • Chief Executive Officer
  • Deserves an award for putting up with a certain member of the Board of Directors, who he reports to
  • Would rather stay cooped up in his office, working overtime, than travel abroad or go golfing with other executives (and his personal assistant  deserves an award for the daily number of “coffee runs” done in his behalf)

Damian

  • member of the Board of Directors (alongside Bruce, who, in spite of constantly having to deal with headaches caused by arguing with his youngest son, cannot deny the teenager’s business acumen)
  • “You were saying?”, he says as he glowers at another member who’s clearly perturbed by the cow standing beside him at the head of the conference table 

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

When you see footage of your father, who’s bruised, bloodied, bound and being taunted by a villanous metahuman, on the Batcomputer screen…

Nightwing:

Red Hood:

Red Robin:

Robin:

Alfred: *clears his throat*

Alfred: Boys, he wouldn’t want you involved –

Robin: *pulls his sword from its scabbard and releases Goliath from his cage*

Red Robin: *tracks the source of the footage and hacks into its system*

Red Hood: *reloads his guns and straps on explosives*

Nightwing: *lights up his escrima sticks* We’re already involved. We’re family, Alfred.

~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~

I mean it’s not as if Alfred left that footage to stream for you to “accidentally” find against Batman’s orders… Right?

prison-mikes-bandana:

raisin-todd:

Nobody:

Damian at 4 am in Wayne Manor:

@incorrect-batfamily-quotes

Tim: *watching Damian barely break a sweat*

Tim: *yawns* And this is necessary because… ?

Damian: *throws a sword at him*

Jason: *catches it with one hand and lights a cigarette with another* Kid, will you chill out?

Tim: Ha, that’s rich. You know, coming from you.

Jason: How about I finish what the brat started –

Duke: *rushing in* Alfred’s coming! I repeat, Gramps’s coming!

Dick: *calmly walking in behind him* Hey, @prison-mikes-bandana , we could really use a hand to try to pry that thing off my brother’s.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Mornings at the Manor…

Tim: *wiping the sleep from his eyes and yawwwwwwniiiing*

Dick: *in a contorted bodily position beyond human understanding* Hey, Timmy. Want to do yoga with me?

Tim: Um, let me just have some coffee first, and then I’ll have the strength to tell you how much I won’t be doing that.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Mornings at the Manor…

Jason: *munching on strawberry-flavored Poptarts*

Tim: *staring blankly ahead*

Jason: *waves a hand in front of his brother’s face*

Tim:

Jason: *snaps his fingers*

Tim:

Jason: *tips the big mug of coffee over, spilling its contents*

Tim: *slowly turns his head to face Jason*

Jason: You’re being so quiet. Are you upset or are you just rebooting?