When Lex Luthor visits Wayne Enterprises and offers him a shady deal…
Tim Wayne, CEO: Well, the plot, unlike your hair, continues to thicken.
Tag: caffeinated crusader
Batman: My job is not to make friends, it is to stop bad things from happening.
Me (an intellectual): then why didn’t you stop Disco Nightwing?
Dick: *stops, drops, and rolls*
Tim: Uhhh… You okay, Dick?
Dick: *chuckling* Just a bad burn, good buddy. Just a bad burn.
Dick: *winks at @lifeofobssessive-blog *
Finding out that their teenaged brother tried smoking a cigarette…
Dick [about Tim]: He’s lying to me! Can you believe that? Where is this family’s morality?
Jason: I don’t know.
Jason: *a puff of smoke suddenly escapes his mouth*
Dick: What’s that?
Jason: It’s cold out here.
Tim [about Bruce]: He’s our dad. I don’t want to disappoint him.
Jason: You and I are so different. It’s like we’re not even related.
Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: I’m going to speak very carefully in case he’s with you.
Red Robin: You’re right.
Red Hood: Right about what? He’s there? What’s going on? Who’s with you? If it’s Bruce, say “nobody”.
Red Robin: Nobody.
Red Hood: Well, now I don’t know what’s going on!
When asked what it was like being a teenaged vigilante…
Red Robin: Is there a word that means both complete self-satisfaction and complete self-loathing?
Mornings at the Manor…
Dick: *scouring cabinets for the last box of Lucky Charms*
Jason: *sipping tea*
Tim: *working on his laptop, half a waffle hanging from his mouth*
Damian: *enters the kitchen looking solemn*
Damian: Drake. I need you to teach me how to be… a douchebag.
Dick and Jason:
Tim:
Tim: Let’s get started.
Tim and Damian: *walk out of the kitchen*
Jason: What is happening in the world?
Dick: Tim, I have to ask you a favor. It’s about my clothes…
Jason: *from his bedroom across the hall* Burn them! Burn them all!
Timothy Jackson Drake, a saga…
Batman: Robin. Are you sleeping while on patrol?
Robin: Uh, uh… No! There’s, uh… a… bug in my eye and I’m trying to suffocate it.
When your younger brother’s the CEO of a multibillion-dollar company…
Jason: Timbo, I need 75 bucks for the new Arkham Knight game.
Tim: *deadpan stare*
Tim: 75 bucks for a video game?
Jason: Yes. See it as an investment.
Tim: *narrowed eyes* An investment?
Jason: Yes. See it this way: If I become a villain with “daddy issues” in another universe, I’ll already know how to do it properly.
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