Old, old, old and still as stubborn as ever…
Dick: Bruce, you shouldn’t wear glasses that weren’t prescribed for you.
Bruce: Dick, just because you’re ten feet tall, it doesn’t mean you can tell me what to do.
Tim: I’m Tim.
Dick: Gimme those!
Tag: caffeinated crusader
Why Dick is Damian’s favorite older brother…
Tim [about Damian]: In a way, I think we learned more from him than he learned from us.
Jason: Well, obviously. Because we taught him nothing.
Nightwing: *sees what Batman and Red Robin are up to* Tracking software? You’re spying on Damian!
Batman: Dick, keeping track of someone because you love them is not wrong. It shows you care.
[Scene cuts to Deathstroke on a nearby rooftop, listening in via a bugging device attached to the Batmobile]
Deathstroke: That’s right, my dear Dick Grayson. *sinister laugh* Soon, you’ll be mine.
[Scene cuts to two FBI agents in a surveillance truck]
FBI Agent #1: *observing Deathstroke via a spy camera* Keep talking, creepo.
FBI Agent #2: Every word buys you a year in the slammer.
On how he plans to celebrate Father’s Day…
Bruce: My sons are going to make me breakfast in bed.
Bruce: Well, actually, Alfred’s going to make the breakfast and I’m going to get in bed, but they’re going to bring it to me.
Trying to be useful in the Batcave be like…
Robin: *working on the Batcomputer*
Spoiler: *making popping noises with her mouth*
Robin: Brown.
Robin: -Tt-
Spoiler: Damiaaaaaaan, is there anything else I can do?
Robin: *sighs*
Robin: See those case files on Drake’s desk?
Spoiler: Mm-hmm?
Robin: Go put them in random order.
Flirting with Red Robin…
Steph: *wearing a sexy new Spoiler uniform* Do you like my outfit?
Tim: Not as much as I like what’s underneath it.
Steph: *blushing* Tim!
Tim: No, I need your chair. Get up.
Workaholics, amaright?
Tim: I miss Kon.
Steph: Well, you still have me.
Tim: It’s not the same, Steph! I can talk to Kon about things that I can’t talk about with you.
Steph: Oh, like what?
Tim: Well, for instance, the annoying things that you do.
After hours of searching the Manor…
Alfred: *throws hands up in exasperation as the five-course dinner he prepared grows cold* Well, the boys are off. I wonder where they went.
Bruce: Out of town.
Alfred: How do you know, Master Bruce?
Bruce: I told them not to.
At the Titans Tower…
Conner: *watching in mild amusement as Tim and Damian tear each other apart with words*
– 4 hours later –
Conner: *yawning* How do you ever get anything done if all you ever do is argue with each other?
Damian: *stares menacingly at him, reaching for the Kryptonite spray in his pocket*
Tim: We don’t! That’s part of our charm! Quit messing it up! *slams the door on Conner and continues his screaming match with his little brother*
When you’re stranded in the middle of wherever and calling your family’s all you’ve got…
Red Robin: What.
Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: Timbo, hey, shut up. I need you to wire me a thousand dollars.
Red Robin: Wow.
Red Hood: Yeah.
Red Robin: No.
Red Hood: Yes!
Red Robin: No!
Red Hood: Oh, for – Then just lemme talk to Babs!
Oracle: Absolutely not. Huh? Because pick any one of an infinite number of reasons! Yeah, okay, hang on…
Spoiler: Mmmmyeah, no, I would, but Cass and I can’t really leave the mall at the moment… But I can transfer you…
Lark: No, I seriously thought you were joking. Yeah, hang on…
Robin: *sinister laughter*
Red Hood: Okay. Okay! Lemme talk to Dick!
Red Hood: Dick?! Dick, listen, I –
Nightwing: Noop.
Red Hood: – need you to –
Nightwing: Noop.
Red Hood: Stop saying “noop”!
Nightwing: Noop, Jason. Noop. And it’s gonna sound like I’m hanging up, but — *static*
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 