We all have that one brother…
Nightwing: *redialling Red Hood’s number for the sixteenth time in a row* Why isn’t he picking up?
Red Robin: Because he’s a jerk. Not breaking news.
Tag: caffeinated crusader
When comic book writers keep changing their minds…
Tim [about Dick and Barbara]: I thought tonight was your big anniversary dinner.
Dick: Yeah. There’s been a little change of plans. We’re breaking up instead.
After rescuing Red Robin from a solo mission gone awry…
Bruce: If I have to hear one more time that you did this for the family…
Tim: I did it for me. I liked it. I was good at it. And… I was really… I was alive.
Mornings at the Manor…
Tim: I’m losing my mind, guys. I sometimes touch the frayed part of the power cord just to feel something.
Alfred: *swiftly takes a step to the side to hide a frayed wire jutting from the kitchen wall*
Jason: *carefully pries the mug of espresso off Tim’s pale, trembling fingers*
Damian: *stealthily moves the butter knife away from Tim’s grasp*
Dick: *grabs Tim’s face and buries it on his chest in a tight hug*
Bruce: *closes the Gotham Gazette, stands up, then fireman-carries his heavily sleep-deprived son up to his room*
Sparring session at the Batcave…
Nightwing: *lights up escrima sticks*
Red Hood: *cocks guns*
Red Robin: *twirls Bo staff*
Robin: *pulls sword out of scabbard*
Robin: *pushes it back*
Red Robin: *smirks* What are you afraid of?
Robin: I’m afraid I’m gonna hit you all so hard that I’ll be an only child.
And he didn’t mean that to be cocky this time. It’s a legitimate concern.
Overheard from within the Manor game room at 4:15 AM…
Jason [to Tim]: Once you reach Level 16, you can see the color blurple.
Or the moment Bruce realized that his sons were never going to sleep. (They really do take after him.)
Sneaking into a top secret facility in the middle of the night…
Red Robin: *whispering* Wait, here’s an idea: You talk louder, and maybe the guards’ll just come to us.
Red Hood: *whispering* We’d lose the element of surprise, Timbo.
Red Robin: That was sarcasm!
Red Hood: No way, really? Because so was that, just now.
Tim: Never in all my life have I been that humiliated.
Damian: I beg to differ.
Jason: Yeah. Me, too.
When you’re trying to give your youngest son the “birds and bees” talk but your other sons want to stick around to see how it goes…
Bruce [to Damian]: *opens mouth to talk*
Bruce: *hears a camera shutter sound*
Bruce: Hn.
Bruce: *opens mouth to talk again*
Bruce: *notices the reflection of three heads peeking from a crevice in the cave on the Batcomputer screen*
Bruce [to Damian]: Oh, good, everyone’s in here. I was worried we’d have a private conversation for once.
A voice from the crevice: You’re welcome, Bruce!
If Damian came to the Manor as a baby…
Dick: *sniffs*
Tim: Who’s gonna change the little brat?
Jason: We’re going to let him roam free in the backyard and nature will take its course.