Damian: *walks away after insulting Jason*
Jason: He’s a mean kid.
Tim: So, what? You’re mean, too.
Jason: Yes, but not to you!
Tim: Yesterday you told me my head was too big for my neck.
Jason: That was… constructive criticism.
Tim: Well, what am I supposed to do about it, Jay?!
Jason: As a brother, my job is only to point things out.
Tag: caffeinated crusader
Red Hood: *glares at criminal*
Red Hood: I’m going to go oil my chainsaw.
Red Robin: What?
Nightwing: *whispering* Jay, we don’t need the chainsaw. Is that what’s in that bag?
Red Hood: Oh, we do. Because drawing a confession out of someone is like doing a beautiful dance. A beautiful dance with a chainsaw.
Red Robin: He makes less and less sense as the days go by.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Must be all that Lazarus Pit fluid.
Robin: *walks into the Batcave*
Red Hood: Hey, Bruce, is it Bring-Your-Brat-to-Work Day?
Red Robin: Yeah, one of those things wandered in here.
Damian: *building a LEGO Death Star*
Damian: -Tt-
Damian: *yelling* Drake! I need your help!
Tim: In your room? You’re letting me go into your room?!
Damian: *guarding the door at Red Robin’s Nest*
Tim: *on a gurney*
Jason: *knocks*
Damian: *opens the door* Todd, this really isn’t the best time. Drake is pretty sick.
Jason: Oh, no. Poor Timbo. Is Damian taking good care of you?
Tim: Not really.
Jason: Would you like me to take care of you?
Tim: Not really.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Where’re Alfred and Dick when you need ‘em?
Barbara: I don’t know how you guys live with yourselves.
Dick: *grins* One day at a time.
Jason: *scoffs* One day at a time.
Tim: *yawns* One day at a time.
Mornings at the Manor…
Bruce: *picks up the Gotham Gazette*
Dick: *doing pull-ups using the kitchen chandelier*
Alfred: *tugs at Dick’s feet to get him off the chandelier*
Tim: *typing furiously on his laptop, eyes narrowed with concentration*
Jason: *pours a fifth shot of espresso into Tim’s mug*
Damian: *picks bacon off Jason’s plate and feeds it to Alfred the Cat*
Bruce: *puts down the newspaper, buries his face in a hand and shakes his head*
Bruce: Just one question, boys. Do you get pleasure out of humiliating your family?
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
I’d say stick to the Business Section, Bruce, but I guess it’s kind of hard to avoid the headlines, huh?
In the Batplane…
Batman:
The Flash:
Batman:
The Flash: *shuddering*
Batman: You okay?
The Flash: *still trying to get over seeing Red Robin and Robin in action only a few moments back*
The Flash: You convinced two healthy kids to jump out of a plane. Is that even legal?
Why Tim decided that it was last time he’d ever introduce a hybrid human-Kryptonian friend to his brothers…
Conner: You’re mocking me, aren’t you?
Jason: Oh no, no no no, no…
Damian: *suddenly points behind Conner*
Damian: SUPERBOY, LOOK! AN ALIEN!
Conner: *looks* Where?
Jason and Damian: *keel over laughing*
When the Batboys meet the black-haired, blue-eyed child for the first time…
Billy: I am Shazam. I come in peace.
Tim: *shakes Billy’s hand* Oh, I’m so glad you’re not a Robin!
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 