Dick: …
Tim: *two black eyes and a broken arm*
Damian: *three missing teeth*
Dick: *sighs and gestures to two chairs in front of him*
Dick: Why don’t you tell me what happened, and in a gentle and loving way, I’ll explain to you why you’re both wrong.
Tag: caffeinated crusader
Mornings at the Batcave…
Tim: *downing a cup of espresso* Okay, we all know why we’re here, right?
Dick: *still in just boxer shorts, yawning and shaking his head*
Jason: *groans* No. Why?
Tim: To fight Damian, the bully. That tiny tween has been tormenting all of us for years, and I for one am sick of it! I can’t promise you victory. I can’t promise you good times. But the one thing I do know –
Dick and Jason: *head back to the Manor*
Tim: Whoa! Whoa! I promise you victory! I promise you good times!
Dick: Uh-oh. Damian’s gonna be mad.
Tim: Yeah, well, he’s twelve and tiny. What’s he going to do? Kick my ass?
Tim’s Brain: Again?
Jason: *walks into Tim’s bedroom*
Jason: So this is where germs are born…
Tim: I want to tell you my secret now.
Conner: Okay…
Tim: I see dead people.
Conner: …
Conner: In your dreams? While you’re awake? Dead people, like, in graves, in coffins?
Tim: Walking around like regular people.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Okay, first of all, those’re just Jason and Damian walking around the Manor. Secondly, GET SOME SLEEP, Timothy.
When the Batboys disagree with Bruce…
Dick is the son who likes to (dramatically) talk it out with him (and hopefully hug it out after)…
Jason, the one who would rather steer clear of him to avoid a fist fight or any form of parenting from him…
Tim, the one who drowns himself in work (perhaps to collect enough evidence to prove his point)…
Damian, the one who makes snarky comments and spiteful comebacks, but ends up doing what his father says anyway.
*shrugs* Probably.
When your brothers presesure you to hang out with them…
Tim: I kind of have plans.
Dick: You have another family?
Tim: Yeah, I, uh… I have a date.
Damian: You have a date?
Tim: Yes! I have a date.
Dick: With a… girl?
Tim: No, with a crouton. *rolls eyes* What is so strange about me having a date?
Jason: With a crouton?
When Conner tells Tim that he’s considering moving to space to get in touch with his Kryptonian roots…
Conner: Okay, we need to talk.
Tim: I’m sorry, Clone Boy, I can’t understand you. You’ve developed some accent from that new planet you might move to!
When you team up with your brother to catch one of the most elusive criminal masterminds in the world…
Red Hood: You were very good out there.
Red Robin: And you were very Jason.
When you realize that maybe it isn’t a good idea to pair up your two younger brothers for patrol just yet…
Red Robin and Robin: *storm into the Batcave, shoving each other out of the way, and immediately head to opposite directions*
Red Robin: *swearing angrily under his breath*
Robin: -Tt-
Nightwing: Um…
Red Robin: *glowers at Damian while stripping off his uniform*
Robin: *hisses at Tim, grabs Alfred the Cat, and goes upstairs to his bedroom*
Nightwing: So…
Red Robin: The brat followed me home. Can we keep him? Can we keep him? Say no, Dick!
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