Sneaking into your little brother’s room while he’s away on a mission with Superboy be like…
Tim: *examining the different types of blades splayed on Damian’s bed*
Jason: *tiptoeing on the carpet and looking around the room* Maybe let’s not touch anything until we figure out if his stuff wants to kill us or not.
Tag: caffeinated crusader
Family Patrol Night…
Robin: *takes his vibrating phone out of his pocket*
Robin: *frowns and puts it back* -Tt-
Red Robin:
Nightwing:
Robin: *takes his vibrating phone out of his pocket again*
Robin: Grrrr. *puts it on Silent Mode*
Nightwing: … ?
Red Robin: *gestures to Red Hood* He just learned how to “poke” on Facebook.
When you’re bored out of your mind from having been watching a criminal mastermind sleep in his apartment for the last 8 hours.
When you find out that one of the most dangerous criminal masterminds in the world has set up headquarters in Gotham City…
Red Robin: What should we do?
Nightwing: Stay away.
Red Hood:
Red Robin:
Robin:
Nightwing: … Or, if we’re stupid, we go there and set up surveillance.
Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin and Robin: *immediately jump out of their seats and start grabbing their gear*
Me: *yells as they race out of the Batcave in their respective vehicles* Take care, boys! I’ll try to calm your father down when he gets back from the Watchtower!
Red Robin: *crawling on the floor* Uuurrgghhhhrr…
Red Robin: *grabs hold of a metal bar* Hhhrrrnnnnhhh…
Red Robin: *struggles to hoist himself onto a chair* …aaAHhhhhhraaahh –
Robin: Pathetic.
Robin: *shuts down the Batcomputer*
Red Robin: NOOOOOOOO! *breaks down in tears*
Red Hood: *fireman-carries a sobbing Tim* It’s really for your own good, Timbo –
Nightwing: *walks into the Batcave* Everything alright?
Robin: Drake refuses to sleep!
The Signal: Something about wanting, no, needing to post… whatever, man, who knows… because something, something happiness…?
Nightwing:
Nightwing: *turns on the Batcomputer*
Nightwing: Who’s @dangerous-doodle ?
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Someone who made me real happy back, Dick.
Thank you so much, @dangerous-doodle . 😎
~ a-wayne-at-heart/incorrect-batfamily-quotes
Why Batman disdains out-of-town supervillain lairs (or taking his sons with him all at once)…
Nightwing: Turkey farm?
Red Hood: No.
Red Robin: Skunks?
Red Hood: No.
Robin: Slaughterhouse?
Red Hood: No.
Catwoman: What are you boys doing back there?
Red Robin: We’re playing “What’s That Odor?”.
Robin: Father’s feet?
Batman: Hn. Damian.
Red Hood: You win, Dami.
Batman: Jason.
Nightwing: Are we there yet, Bruce?
Batman: I’ll tell you when we get there. Go back to your smell game.
Crashing at Red Robin’s Nest…
Jason: *places pillows on the couch*
Tim: Don’t sleep there. You can use the bedroom.
Jason: I can’t take your bedroom.
Tim: I’m up at four o’clock in the morning.
Jason: I can’t kick you out of your bed.
Tim: I don’t even sleep.
When you tell your little brother about the time you messed up during your tenure as the Teen Titans’ leader…
Tim: People think that I’m smart, but I’m not smart.
Damian: Who thinks that you’re smart?
Post-patrol Movie Night at the Manor…
Now Showing: “Under the Red Hood” (2010)
Red Robin: Are you… crying?
Red Hood: *vigorously wiping away his tears using Tim’s cape* What are you, a robot? It’s a deeply emotional movie!
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Oh, sorry, did it say “movie”? I meant family home video.
When your youngest brother wants to show you his appreciation…
Dick: You’re giving us… stickers?
Damian: Not just any sticker. Those are stickers of a kitty saying, “Me-wow!”.
Tim: We’re not preschoolers.
Damian: Fine, I’ll take them all back.
Jason: I earned this! Back off!
Red Hood: *struggling to disarm motion-triggered, exploding handcuffs with a lock-pick*
Red Robin: *swiftly removes his handcuffs once the henchman leaves the room and starts working on Jason’s*
Red Hood: What th-
Red Robin: Remember when you called me a “nerd” before? Get ready to apologize.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 