Dick and Jason: *watching as Tim downs his fourth cup of coffee, spilling some on his ketchup and mustard-stained shirt, burps loudly, and wipes dried slobber off his face*
Dick: *sighs*
Jason: I love him, but if he’s broken, let’s ask Bruce not to get a new one.
Security alarm at the Titans Tower: INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT!
Impulse: *runs out of the conference room*
Impulse: *runs back into the conference room half a second later*
Impulse: *panting* I saw a freaky, terrifying man!
Robin: *not looking up from what he’s reading* That’s just Batman.
He knew the alarm was there. He knew it would sound when he (specifically) attempted to enter. And he also knew that his son, Timothy, sick of his meddling with the team, had set it up to annoy him. @winterpeacock
Superman: *throws his hands up in exasperation* Thank you, @hillshollow !
Batman: Hn.
Superman: Just this morning, at breakfast, for crying out loud!*imitating Bruce’s voice* “Clark, pass the ketchup.” Tone. “Jordan, you seem to enjoy eating garbage.” Tone. “Diana –” Well, you did dial it down for that one.
Batman: *puffing out his chest and putting his hands on his hips* And this is necessary at all times?
Superman:
Superman: *eyes glowing red* ARGH! *walks out of the hall*
Superman: There’s just no winning with you, Bruce!
When your bestfriend accuses you of unnecessarily intimidating someone…
Superman: You say I have a face.
Batman: *scoffs*
Superman:You have a tone, and it says, “I’m gonna hit somebody.”
Red Robin: @paranoidmedic, ha! Like that one time when Bruce said –
Red Hood: Tim, don’t you DARE –
Red Robin: – “I – ”
Red Hood: *tackles Tim to the ground*
Red Robin: *struggling to speak while being smothered by Jason’s letter jacket* Bru- Bruce s-s-said – Jason, get orfff –
Red Hood: You shut your pie hole!
Robin: Father told him he loved him.
Nightwing: In the middle of an argument. It was touching, really.
Robin: Todd stopped moving.
Red Robin: *sputtering* O-or b-breath-breathing, as if died aga– Ow, Jay! –
Nightwing: I think he’s afraid that Bruce’s going to surprise him with affection again.
Robin: -Tt- It is kind of hard to tell with Father’s tone.
Red Hood: *screams in agony*
Red Hood: *dramatically takes out two machine guns from underneath his leather jacket*
Red Hood: *clears his throat, then switches to Tony Montana’s accent* Say hello to my little friends!
The Signal: Uh, dude, I don’t think they meant we should cause the riot –
Red Robin: *yelling a la-Tarzan while grapple-hooking from wall to wall*
Goliath: *taking ground-shaking steps around the Batcave with Damian on his back*
Robin: *laughing tyranically*
Nightwing: *carrying a crate of glowsticks and party poppers* Hey, y’all started without –
Nightwing:
Nightwing: It’s Alfred. RUN!
Alfred: *walking into a seemingly empty Batcave and speaking to seemingly no one* Dinner is served. If you wish to partake of it, I suggest you all make better life decisions from this moment on.
Alfred: And you – *looking squarely at @kittyofalltrades* – may join us.
Alfred: *walks out*
The Batboys: *scurries out of their hiding places and runs after him*
The Signal: *looks back at @kittyofalltrades* So, uh, you coming?
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 