Watching Tim actually break down in tears without so much as a fight or witty retort…
Damian: *panicking* Normally I mean to be insensitive, but I didn’t actually mean it this time!
Tag: caffeinated crusader
Imagine:
70 Degrees = Bruce saying “I love you, son”
Fahrenheit = Pretending-to-Be-Unaffected Damian
Celsius = Caught-Off-Guard Jason
During Tim’s first days as Robin…
Tim: You can’t be fired from your own family, can you?
Dick:
Bruce:
Dick: *sarcastically clears throat*
Red Robin: Don’t you have anything to unpack?
Red Hood: *pulls out two guns* I travel light.
Ra’s: Who are you talking to?
Red Robin: *as Oracle’s image fades out on his communicator watch* Tech support.
When an alien trying to take over the Earth lands in Gotham City…
Red Hood: *jumps over cars and debris to get to the alien ship*
Red Robin: What’re you gonna do, Hood?
Red Hood: Show it what a real monster looks like.
Peace time at Gotham City be like…
Dick: *sighs*
Damian: *yawns* – Tt –
Tim: *searches for “shark-repellent Bat-spray” on Amazon.com*
Jason: *stretches muscles, then lays back down on couch*
Dick: Gotta save someone.
Tim: Know the feeling.
And the “Big Brother of the Year” Award goes to…
Jason [to Tim]: I couldn’t bear it if anyone hurt you.
Jason: I mean, besides me.
Robin: *yelling from two rooftops away* I know where you live!
Red Robin: *yelling back* And I live where you live!
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
This is not how you threaten each other, boys, but carry on…
Red Robin: @paranoidmedic, ha! Like that one time when Bruce said –
Red Hood: Tim, don’t you DARE –
Red Robin: – “I – ”
Red Hood: *tackles Tim to the ground*
Red Robin: *struggling to speak while being smothered by Jason’s letter jacket* Bru- Bruce s-s-said – Jason, get orfff –
Red Hood: You shut your pie hole!
Robin: Father told him he loved him.
Nightwing: In the middle of an argument. It was touching, really.
Robin: Todd stopped moving.
Red Robin: *sputtering* O-or b-breath-breathing, as if died aga– Ow, Jay! –
Nightwing: I think he’s afraid that Bruce’s going to surprise him with affection again.
Robin: -Tt- It is kind of hard to tell with Father’s tone.
Red Hood: *screams in agony*
Batman:
Martian Manhunter:
Batman:
Martian Manhunter: *frowning*
Batman:
Martian Manhunter: *glares at Bruce, flips his cape, and storms out, looking offended*
Batman: J’onn, hold on, what –
Batman: Can’t a man think in private anymore?
Batman: Barry, could you –
The Flash: It wasn’t me, I swear! *runs away*
Batman: About Gotham Bay, Arthur –
Aquaman: I am not in the mood, Bruce. *swims away*
Batman:
Batman: Hrrn.
Superman: *standing next to Bruce* 😏
Batman: -Tt-
Batman: Go ahead, Clark. Fly away.
Superman: Noooope.
Batman: Ugh. *walks away*
Superman: Right, @dangerous-doodle ?
Superman: *throws his hands up in exasperation* Thank you, @hillshollow !
Batman: Hn.
Superman: Just this morning, at breakfast, for crying out loud! *imitating Bruce’s voice* “Clark, pass the ketchup.” Tone. “Jordan, you seem to enjoy eating garbage.” Tone. “Diana –” Well, you did dial it down for that one.
Batman: *puffing out his chest and putting his hands on his hips* And this is necessary at all times?
Superman:
Superman: *eyes glowing red* ARGH! *walks out of the hall*
Superman: There’s just no winning with you, Bruce!
Batman:
Batman: *smirks*
I imagine ‘that tone’ is Bruce’s usual voice…🤔
When your bestfriend accuses you of unnecessarily intimidating someone…
Superman: You say I have a face.
Batman: *scoffs*
Superman: You have a tone, and it says, “I’m gonna hit somebody.”
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 