Post-mission debriefing…
Red Hood:
Nightwing:
Red Robin:
Robin:
Red Hood: Who can blame me for having a little fun? 🤷♂
Nightwing: I can.
Red Robin: Me, too.
Robin: -Tt-
Tag: caffeinated crusader
Batman: *discussing the do’s and don’ts for an upcoming mission*
Red Hood [to The Signal]: *whispering* Don’t worry about it, man.
Red Hood: *gestures to his brothers and to himself* You’re kind of like a Robin now. We make our own rules.
Nightwing: *winks*
Red Robin: *grins*
Robin: *salutes*
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Bros before… broody, mood-killing, adoptive fathers clad in leather.
When your adoptive father wants to have a private conversation with a colleague but you’re bored out of your mind and eavesdropping seems fun..
Nightwing [on the Comm Link]: *hanging from one of the ceiling stalactites in the Batcave* His mouth hasn’t moved in three and a half minutes.
Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: *crouching behind the glass case of his Robin uniform* Hal Jordan’s probably got him on hold.
Robin [on the Comm Link]: *sitting inside the dinosaur’s oral cavity* No, no. His nostrils are flaring. He’s pacing like a maniac.
Red Robin [on the Comm Link]: *viewing Batman from his own bedroom via a secret camera he installed on the Batmobile* And he just switched his phone from his right hand to his left hand like he wants to punch someone.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Perhaps because he knew that you boys have been listening in all along? Y’all ain’t slick.
When you’re weary from patrol and craving for some shut-eye only to find intruders in your safe house…
Red Hood: …
Nightwing: *rummaging through the cabinets*
Red Robin: *installing security cameras in the living room*
Robin: *examining the samurai swords hanging on the wall*
Red Hood: I gave you my passcode for emergencies.
Robin:
Red Robin:
Nightwing: We were out of Doritos.
When you’re on the way to a suspect’s location and Waze is down (or Red Robin’s not answering for some reason *rolls eyes*)…
Robin: To which city are we near?
Nightwing: Coast! Fawcett! Oh, oh, Gateway!
Red Hood: Okay, why are you even answering?
Dick: *knocking on Tim’s bedroom door* Come on!
Damian: Drake! Open up. We would like to speak to you.
Tim: *muffled* I don’t feel like talking!
Dick: Oh, come on, Timmy, we care about you!
Cass: We’re worried about you.
Jason: And some of us really have to pee!
Red Hood: I guess I am a criminal…
Red Robin: Bruce didn’t call you a criminal, he called you a little boy in need of love.
Red Hood: A LITTLE BOY?! *punches the wall* I’ll show him what this “little boy” can do!
Mornings at the Manor…
Jason: *whistling while turning on the stove and beating eggs in a bowl*
Red Robin: *comes in through the kitchen window, bruised, tattered, and dripping blood*
Red Robin: Jay! I lost Damian! What am I going to do?!
Jason: Uhhhh. Don’t worry. Don’t worry. *looks around the kitchen in panic* Know what I’m going to do? I’m going to make you an omelet.
Red Robin: Just help me look for him!
Jason: Are you sure? I make ‘em with four kinds of cheese.
Mornings at the Manor…
Tim and Damian: *bickering at the breakfast table*
Bruce: Quiet, you two! If I hear one more word, Tim doesn’t get to drink coffee and Damian doesn’t get to go on patrol.
Tim: Bruce!
Damian: Father!
Bruce: Not. One. Word.
Tim and Damian: *start insulting each other by lightly tapping spoons and banging salt and pepper shakers*
Bruce: I thought I told you two to knock it off.
Tim: We didn’t say anything!
Damian: Not one word!
Bruce: Well, no Morse code either.
Tim: *whispering* What’s your hurry?
Jason: *grabbing his leather jacket and kicking three-day-old garbage underneath the sofa* This place is depressing.
Dick: *yelling from the kitchen* Hey! I live here!
Jason: *yelling back* And I’m sure it’s a blast once you get used to it!
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Maybe if you cleaned up once in a while before these family visits, Nightwing…
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 