Torn apart furniture. Food and some sort of ink (or is that blood?) smeared all over the walls and carpets. A scorched living room ceiling. Tim tries to explain what happened to a visiting Conner…
Tim: It would take hours to explain the psychology of this event, so I’ll just simplify.
Tim: *points at Damian* “Dynamite”.
Tim: *points at Jason* “Kid with matches”.
Tag: caffeinated crusader
Jason [to Tim]: This is an official apology. I’m a horrible person and I’m sorry. What I did was horrible, even by our standards. And, let’s face it, we’ve set the bar very low.
Tim: I’m sick of you always having an edge just because you’re cruel and I’m smart and I’m concerned about consequences. I can be just as vicious and shortsighted as you!
Damian: Oh, yeah? *sarcastically* I’m really scared. Why don’t you just –
Damian: *realizes that his hand is stuck to his forehead *
Damian: *gritting his teeth* Drake, what did you do?
Tim: *holds up a tube of Super Glue* I sank to your level. And I have to say, it feels good.
Tim catching up with Conner about what his best (hybrid clone) friend has been learning so far…
Conner: *excitedly* I know Word.
Conner: And I can open a document.
Conner: “Save it”. “Save as”.
Conner: “Print”. “Print preview”!
When asked what it was like being a teenaged vigilante…
Red Robin: Is there a word that means both complete self-satisfaction and complete self-loathing?
As a kid I attempted to ship my sister to Egypt. Even tricked her into getting into the box. The only thing stopping me was a lack of stamps and adults taking me seriously. How many times do you think any of the BatKids tried something like that to each other?
Me: Here’s the thing… We’re talking about the Batkids here… They’ve got the brains, the resources, the gall, and an adoptive father who’s basically just stopped caring after the nth successful atte–
Dick: *from one end of the hall, talking on the phone* Uh, yes, is this Wayne Airlines? Yeah, I’m calling regarding a box that’s currently on one of your flights. It should be big enough to fit a teenager. Uh, yeah, hold on *covers the mouthpiece* Jason, which flight was it?
Jason: *yelling from the other end of the hall* Over my dead-again body, Dick.
Dick: *on the phone* Yeah, um, can you give me just a second?
Dick: *heads over to Damian on the other side of the room* Little D, come on, I need to know where Tim is before Bruce gets home.
Damian: *painting a portrait of Titus* Two words, Grayson. Social. Distancing.
Jason: *yelling* He’s finally getting uninterrupted sleep, Dickie!
Dick: You can’t keep sending Tim overseas for that reason –
Damian: That’s true, that’s why we send him for other reasons, too –
Jason: Shhhh!!! Alfred’s coming!
Dick: That’s it. I’m tell– *gets tackled to the ground by Damian*
Jason: *picks up the phone* Uh, yeah, sorry about that. Turns out I had the wrong airline. K, thanks, bye!
Me: So, um, yeah, @rosebloodwater .
Dick: Cass is killing me! I’m telling you, I cannot beat this woman no matter what I try. She’s like a ninja, but worse.
Tim: Nothing’s worse than a ninja. They’re masters of every style of combat.
Damian: Can we please talk about something other than Cain?
Barbara: I think you should give Cass a break. You know, it’s really hard being a woman around here. You can walk through walls and nobody notices you.
Jason: Not entirely unlike a… ninja.
Dick: Thanks again for helping me look for Tim.
Jason: No problem. I’ll check the dumpster.
Dick: …
Dick: We’re not looking for “dead” Tim.
Jason: Atta boy. You stay optimistic.
Seeing Damian trip and fall flat on his face and break a front tooth…
Tim [to Jason]: *sips coffee* By the by, this moment is so great that I would cheat on that other moment with it, marry it, and raise a family of tiny little moments.
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