Making home videos with your family be like…
Jason: *setting up his camcorder*
Jason: Dick, I have to make some adjustments to my film. You’ll play my father.
Dick: I don’t want to be your father!
Jason: Perfect! You already know the lines.
And somewhere in the Manor, Bruce accidentally chokes on his coffee.
“And I don’t need your adult angst.”
Tag: bruce wayne
Batman: *studying a case on the Batcomputer*
Nightwing: *parkour-ing from giant memento to giant memento in the Batcave*
Red Hood: *aiming at the bats with his guns (”What? For target practice!”)*
Red Robin: *rambles on about his Multiverse theories to Bruce while dragging around an IV stand with a pouch of pure liquid caffeine*
Batgirl: *taking a selfie while Spoiler braids her hair*
Robin: *approaching Alfred with Batcow in tow (”I need more pet food, Pennyworth.”)*
Lark: *Snapchatting everyone while ducking to avoid Dick (”Typical Tuesdays”)*
Batman: *finds it hard to focus, stops typing*
Batman: *looks at the chaos that is his children*
Alfred: *serves Bruce some tea*
Batman: Alfred, this is like a waking nightmare of happiness.
Alfred: *grins and walks away*
Orphan: *hugs Bruce’s neck from behind*
Batman: *grins as his daughter skips away to join the fray*
Batman: I just don’t want you to lie to me, Dick. I don’t want you to ever lie to me. Have I ever lied to you?
Nightwing: Yup. *with an extra pop on the ‘p’*
Batman:
Batman: I just don’t want you to.
Trying to save your son’s life be like…
Batman: I want to give you blood, Jason.
Red Hood: *at the medical bay in the Batcave and close to fainting* That’s really not the trend in vampires right now…
Discussing ways to win your father’s sympathy be like…
Red Hood: How about this: I throw a corpse dressed like me off the roof –
Red Robin: *looks into the camera like he’s on “The Office”*
When the U.N. wants to publicly acknowledge your family’s contribution to saving the world…
Batman: I need you to promise me that you’ll be on your best behavior.
Red Hood: I kind of promised other people that I’d be on my worst behavior, and I gave ‘em my word, so…
Right before he got a taste of the infamous Dick Grayson temper…
Deathstroke: Nightwing, that’s a nice tan… But I’m surprised you get any sun at all, considering how much time you spend in Batman’s shadow.
Superman: You know?
Batman: When do I not know?
Superman: How do you do it, guess things?
Batman: I observe, and then I deduce.
Superman: How did you know I was a farmer? You said you could tell from my hand.
Batman: Hands, plural. It had calluses, not soft.
Superman: How did you know my family was Kryptonian?
Batman: Google. Not everything is deducible.
Batman: You know, Superman, I take it all back. I’m beginning to find your companionship extremely useful.
Superman: *grins proudly*
Batman: It’s like white noise. It puts me in a state where I think and observe better.
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