Bruce: Jason, I can forgive the smoking, but I can’t forgive the lie.
Alfred: *glares at Bruce*
Bruce: Or the smoking.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Alfred raised you both right.
Tag: bruce wayne
Imagine: Dick listening as Bruce gives instructions, then noticing Jason and Damian sneaking into the Batmobile.
Good older brothers don’t tattle.
When Jason finds a way into the Fifth Dimension,uncertain of what – or who – exactly he’s facing, knowing only that Tim’s in there somewhere and that he’s not leaving without his younger brother…
Red Hood [to an astral projection of Mister Mxyzptlk]: I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you’re looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money…
Red Hood: But what I do have is a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for creatures like you.
Red Hood: If you let my brother go now, that will be the end of it. I will not look for you. I will not pursue you.
Red Hood: But if you don’t, I will look for you.
Red Hood: I will find you.
Red Hood: And I will kill you.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Astral projection of Batman from out of nowhere: Jason, we do not kill.
Red Hood: *slams the Manor door shut*
Arsenal: So, you finally stood up to your father?
Red Hood: *sighs* Yep.
Arsenal: And he cut you off? No money, no nothing?
Red Hood: *lights a cigarette and takes a drag* Pretty much.
Arsenal: Jerk.
When you’re curious to find out what you could’ve been had you not met Batman…
S.T.A.R. Labs Scientist: Here are your scientifically selected careers.
Batgirl: “Architect”. Nice.
The Signal: “Insurance salesman”. Uhhh, right.
Spoiler: “Salmon gutter”? What in the –
Robin: “Military strongman”. -Tt-
Red Robin: “Systems analyst”. *shrugs*
Nightwing: “Homemaker”?
S.T.A.R. Labs Scientist: Mm-hm. It’s like a mommy.
Red Hood: “Police officer”? Well, I’ll be jiggered.
Mornings at the Manor…
Tim and Damian: *bickering at the breakfast table*
Bruce: Quiet, you two! If I hear one more word, Tim doesn’t get to drink coffee and Damian doesn’t get to go on patrol.
Tim: Bruce!
Damian: Father!
Bruce: Not. One. Word.
Tim and Damian: *start insulting each other by lightly tapping spoons and banging salt and pepper shakers*
Bruce: I thought I told you two to knock it off.
Tim: We didn’t say anything!
Damian: Not one word!
Bruce: Well, no Morse code either.
Commissioner Gordon: *lights a cigarette* First, the good news.
Batman: *perched on a gargoyle* Hn.
Commissioner Gordon: *takes a drag* Two of your sons are not locked up in jail.
But who tho
This post is officially open to theories.
Commissioner Gordon: *lights a cigarette* First, the good news.
Batman: *perched on a gargoyle* Hn.
Commissioner Gordon: *takes a drag* Two of your sons are not locked up in jail.
Family Patrol Night…
Batman: *setting up surveillance equipment on the rooftop*
Robin: *watching the traffic down below while perched atop a gargoyle*
Nightwing: *balancing on the ledge (y’know, upside-down and on one hand, the yoosh)*
Red Robin: Jay, I have a riddle for you. What’s the sound of one hand clapping?
Red Hood: Piece of cake. *opens and closes his fist quickly, which makes a faint sound*
Red Robin: No, man. It’s a 3000-year-old riddle with no answer. It’s supposed to clear your mind of conscious thought.
Red Hood: No answer? Timmy, listen up. *quickly opens and closes his fist again*
Batman: Hn. *smirks*
Nightwing: *giggles and almost loses his balance*
Robin: -Tt-
Trying to figure out if Batman’s metahuman or not be like…
The Flash: What do you think he is?
Green Lantern: Not what I thought he’d be.
The Flash: What did you think he’d be?
Green Lantern: Fun.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 