So, remember that issue wherein your adoptive father laughs at something you say (and you eat burgers by the Batmobile afterwards)…?
Red Hood [to Batman]: As long as you’re happy… I’m unsettled.
Tag: bruce wayne
When a highly dangerous supervillain’s in town and your overprotective adoptive father orders you to “stay out of it”…
Nightwing: *noiselessly drops down from the ceiling in the middle of a heavily guarded warehouse*
Batman: *bruised, bloodied, bound to a metal contraption and on the verge of losing consciousness* D-Dick, what are you –
Nightwing: *disables the handcuffs* If you wanted a binding agreement, we should have pinky-sweared.
Batfather’s Day…
Batman: *opens a blood-stained greeting card with a bullet hole in the middle*
Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: Did you see the hearts? It took me, like, six minutes.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
In which Alfred gets teary-eyed from seeing the biggest grin he’s seen on his son’s face in years (and the card he himself got from his grandson).
Because it’s almost that time of the year.
Why you should try not to take anything Batman says too personally…
Batman: I can’t afford any more delays, Clark, and you’re one of those superpowered beings who cause delays. Sometimes it’s a good thing. There’s a whole group of heroes. They’re “delay heroes”.
Superman: *quivering lip* You mean… You mean you don’t like me?
Batman: No, of course I like you. It’s because I like you that I don’t want to be with you. It’s a complicated emotion, Clark!
After meeting Tim for the first time…
Dick: Bruce, you’ve already got two strikes on your record. You adopt one more child and it’s technically a spree.
Batman: *coming out of the shadows* I need a favor.
Superman: What happened to “Hello! I need a favor”?
After bailing your son out of jail…
Batman: Jason, I told you to walk away. I told you to give a fake name.
Red Hood: I did, thanks very much. I’m Chareth Cutestory, a pirate lawyer. It was airtight.
Family Patrol Night…
Batman: *smells a handprint on the wall*
Batman: *narrows eyes* Hn.
Red Hood [to Nightwing]: *whispering* Is it just me, or is our dad a freakin’ weirdo?
Batman: If you’re ever in the area, you’ll always have a place to stay…
Green Lantern:
Batman: In my son’s barn.
Green Lantern: There it is.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
That’s sssuming Damian’ll allow it, Hal. And, Bruce, that’s not how you “accommodate” colleagues.
Batman: *enters the Batcave, half-naked in a singed and tattered Batsuit*
Batman: *heads directly to the Batcomputer, limping, dripping blood on the ground*
Nightwing:
Red Robin:
Robin:
Alfred:
Red Hood: Did you get in a tickle fight with Edward Scissorhands?
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