Superman: *clears his throat*
Batman:
Superman: *gets out of the Batmobile*
Batman:
Superman: *awkwardly pats the roof* Well. That was a long, silent car ride. Now I know how Dick feels.
Tag: bruce wayne
Red Hood [to Batman]: Why do you ruin everything with your words?!
Red Hood: *storms out of the Batcave*
Batman:
Alfred: *walking in with a tray of cookies* …?
Batman:
Batman: I told him, “Take care out there, son”.
Red Hood: *sulking by a fountain on the Manor grounds*
Alfred: *clears his throat*
Red Hood: *looks up*
Alfred: I hate to break it to you, Master Jason, but despite your best efforts, people care about you.
When Batman meets Supergirl…
Batman: Your country cousin may trust you, but I sure don’t.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Reminded me of “Superman/Batman: Apocalypse” (2010).
Red Hood [to Batman]: Why do you ruin everything with your words?!
Red Hood: *storms out of the Batcave*
Batman:
Alfred: *walking in with a tray of cookies* …?
Batman:
Batman: I told him, “Take care out there, son”.
When your adoptive father has trust issues with your crimefighting methods…
Red Hood: *running through a dark alley*
Red Hood: *stops abruptly and catches his breath*
Red Hood: *rolls his eyes at his little brother, who’s in the Batjet hovering above him* I don’t need to be monitored all day long, brat. I’m not a toddler. This is stupid.
Robin [on the Comm Link]: I know you’re not, Todd, because toddlers would know that “stupid” is a no-no word.
Mornings at the Manor…
Bruce: *e-mailing the Justice League while discussing Wayne Tech plans with Lucius on the phone*
Dick: *stealthily picking blueberries off the pancakes on the serving tray while dangling upside down from the ceiling*
Alfred: *slapping Dick’s hand away while preparing Tim’s morning espresso shots*
Jason: *holding up a bag of catfood so it’s out of Damian’s reach*
Damian: *on his tippy toes trying to reach it while muttering censor-worthy threats to Jason*
Tim: *eyelids drooping and eyes red, wiping dried-up slobber off his face* How long was I out? Is Napster still a thing?
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Who’s gonna tell him?
Batman: *walks in on his children speaking in hushed tones and huddled by the Batcomputer, with Tim at the helm*
Red Hood: Dudes, what makes you think the old man’s not gonna know that we used his tech to do this?
Nightwing: If he does find out, I’ll handle it, okay? Aren’t you guys even the least bit curious of how many by now?
The Signal: Well, okay, I guess I am now. Let’s do this.
Robin: Father is going to be disappointed at this idiocy.
Red Robin: Pssh. Like that’s stopping you. Besides, this is the only computer on this Earth that can log on to Tumb–
Red Robin: I just got goosebumps. Guys, why did I just get goosebumps? And why isn’t anyone talking to me? Guys?
Red Robin: *slowly turns his seat*
Batman: *with narrowed eyes* Hrrrn.
Nigthwing: *smiling sheepishly* Heyyyy Bruuuuce…
Red Hood: *covering his mouth to stifle his giggling*
The Signal: We – we were just – uhhh –
Robin: I warned them, Father!
Red Robin: Why, you little – *lunges at Damian*
Nightwing: *jumps in to break Tim and Damian apart*
The Signal: *runs to the kitchen to get Alfred*
Red Hood: *takes out his phone and starts recording everything*
Batman:
Batman: *walks past his sons’ wrestling match to the Batcomputer*
Batman: *enters the password to the Tumblr account and looks at the number of followers*
Batman: Hn.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Your overwhelming support for this blog has gotten them excited, too.
With much appreciation,
a-wayne-at-heart/incorrect-batfamily-quotes
Releasing your grandson into the wild that is the Wayne Enterprises gala…
Alfred: *straightening Dick’s bowtie* Now, Master Richard, be charming but not too charming.
Dick: That’s like asking Superman not to be too super.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Or his adoptive father not to be too broody.
Batman: *turning on the Comm Link* Di –
Nightwing: *dropping down from the ceiling* Here I am, roguishly handsome and at your service. What do you need?
Batman: Dick, do you have any idea how worried I was?
Nightwing: Yeah, I do. I was gone for thirty-six hours. A year ago, you were gone for eight weeks.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Yeah, Bruce.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 