Arsenal: You never talk about Bat–
Red Hood: That’s because there are seven billiON MORE INTERESTING SUBJECTS ON THE PLANET.
Tag: bruce wayne
The Young Justice motto…
Robin: *looking from “Batman calling” on his communicator to a bomb detonator next to a contraband-filled supervillain warehouse*
Robin [to the rest of the team]: Well, if we’re going to be accused of it, we might as well do it.
After finding out that Red Hood’s a former Robin…
Superman: I know this comes as a shock to you –
Batman: Please, Clark. If I had a nickel for every time one of my sons died, got resurrected by an assassin overlord’s daughter, and came back as a lethal antihero, I’d haVE A NICKEL!
The Flash: Hal, Batman’s been looking for you all morning.
Green Lantern: What does he want?
The Flash: I don’t know, but he’s dressed strangely.
Green Lantern: Really? How can you tell?
Bruce, Dick, Tim and Alfred: *run into Jason’s bedroom after hearing a scuffle from downstairs*
Jason: *has Damian pinned to the wall*
Damian: *choking Jason*
Jason: *struggling to talk* Nothing to be alarmed about, people. It’s just a man pointing a bull tranquilizer at his little brother.
Bruce, Dick, Tim and Alfred: *run into Jason’s bedroom after hearing a scuffle from downstairs*
Jason: *has Damian pinned to the wall*
Damian: *choking Jason*
Jason: *struggling to talk* Nothing to be alarmed about, people. It’s just a man pointing a bull tranquilizer at his little brother.
Arriving late to a Batfamily briefing (and ignoring your adoptive father’s glare) be like…
Red Hood: *tipping an imaginary hat* Ladies, gentlemen. Don’t get up, I wouldn’t for you.
When Batman gets a cold…
Superman: Bruce, don’t you think you’re overreacting?
Batman: *rummaging through his file cabinets and lab equipment in the Batcave*
Batman: When I’m lying comatose in a hospital, relying on inferior minds to cure me, these cultures and my accompanying notes will give them a fighting chance, Clark.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Shoot at him. Set him on fire. Send him to alternate dimensions not compatible with human survival. Just… not the common cold.
Taking your circus-raised son to a gala be like…
Dick: *grabs three empty champagne flutes from a table*
Dick: Have you ever tried to juggle?
Bruce: Yes. I’m juggling my love for you and my embarrassment of you right now.
Dick and Jason: *watching as Tim downs his fourth cup of coffee, spilling some on his ketchup and mustard-stained shirt, burps loudly, and wipes dried slobber off his face*
Dick: *sighs*
Jason: I love him, but if he’s broken, let’s ask Bruce not to get a new one.
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