Selina: *creeping behind a sculpture inside the Wayne Manor, eavesdropping*

Bruce: Now, Dick, what a woman wants, really wants, is for you to listen, truly hear what is troubling her –

Selina: Not half-bad advice –

Bruce: And then you can quickly solve that problem for her and move on to something more interesting –

Selina: *rolls her eyes* Back to normal.

Security alarm at the Titans Tower: INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT!

Impulse: *runs out of the conference room*

Impulse: *runs back into the conference room half a second later*

Impulse: *panting* I saw a freaky, terrifying man!

Robin: *not looking up from what he’s reading* That’s just Batman.

Post-mission debriefing…

Batman: *listening*

Nightwing: At first, it didn’t seem physically possible.

Red Robin: But modern-day technology makes anything possible. It was as easy as Shake-‘N-Bake!

Red Hood: *wiggles eyebrows* And I helped.

Robin: Actually, Todd, I don’t really know if snickering in the corner all night like a prepubescent monkey actually qualifies as help, but it sure was entertaining.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Bruce: Have I ever told you that you’re my favorite Robin?

Dick: Bruuuuce. Come on!

Bruce: I think instinctively you must know…

Dick: I mean, it’s like…

Bruce: I mean you’ve gotten away with everything…

Dick: *giggles* Bruce, you don’t have to say that…

Bruce: You’ll always be my little bo–

Door: *thud thud thud*

Batman: *muffled* Nightwing, get up. It’s time for patrol.

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

And it had been such a nice dream, too.

In the Batplane…

Batman:

The Flash:

Batman:

The Flash: *shuddering*

Batman: You okay?

The Flash: *still trying to get over seeing Red Robin and Robin in action only a few moments back*

The Flash: You convinced two healthy kids to jump out of a plane. Is that even legal?

Batman: Alfred, I need a car.

Alfred [on the Comm Link]: Call an Uber.

Batman: What am I? 19?

~ • ~ • ~ • ~

No, more like a middle-aged teenager. (Also, this is Alfred’s version of grounding you for almost dying during your last mission, Bruce.)

Batman: *working on a case by himself in the Hall of Justice*

Superman and Wonder Woman: *watching him*

Superman: *whispering* The good news is, he’s the best at what he does.

Wonder Woman: *whispering back* The bad news is, he knows it.