Tag: bruce wayne

prison-mikes-bandana:

squishyandiknowit:

hermionemollycharliepond:

cybercitrus:

pixelavender:

adriofthedead:

vicemag:

A quick tip for your elevator ride up to the office: grab a piping hot cuppa joe at the corner store and stick an egg in it to make a hard boiled morning snack.

just stick your hands in boiling hot coffee. go on. do it. just shove your fingers on in that blistering hot cuppa joe. throw an egg in there. who gives a shit. eat your god damn coffee eggs like the stupid slobbering idiot that you are

thIS WHOLE FUCKING ARTICLE

image
image
image
image
image

????????????????????????????

convert your office into a horrible disaster

This should be what nsfw means

The batfamily when Alfred went on a vacation

Pretty much, except they use their weapons and gadgets.

Source: Vice Magazine

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Because it’s not easy being the eldest…

Damian: Drake keeps changing the channel!

Tim: Aw, that’s great. Why don’t you tell Bruce on me?

Dick: Now, I’m “Bruce” in this little play? Alright, I refuse to get sucked into this weird little Robin dimension thing, so I’m gonna go and take a nice, long bubble bath because you kids are driving me crazy.

They weren’t actually talking to you, Richard, but I guess it’s a reflex to you by now.

When you can’t wait to find out what Bruce got you for Christmas…

Jason: Alfred! We’ve got to break Alfred. Bruce tells him everything.

Tim: *looking into the distance* His goatee holds so many secrets.

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

They said foolishly, not realizing that it’d be easier to get Batman to talk than to break Alfred.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Batman: *walks into the Watchtower’s Hall of Justice*

Batman: *narrows his eyes* Hn.

Batman: *swiftly turns on the light*

Everyone: SURPRISE, BRUCE!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! *confetti explosions, colorful bat-shaped balloons, tooting horns*

Batman: *wide-eyed, open-mouthed and motionless*

Wonder Woman: *checks him for a pulse*

Superman: *whispers in his ear* I know it’s your specialty, but let’s try not to overthink this one, okay?

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

Aww, you guys! Don’t scare him like that.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

When you’re new to the crime game and pick the wrong city to start playing in…

At a Gotham precinct…

Criminal 1: *with two black eyes and in handcuffs, newly booked and seated next to another criminal in handcuffs*

Criminal 2 [about Batman]: *grinning and missing three teeth* Did he follow you down an alley and jump on you, too? He does that.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Batmobile: *screeches to a halt in front of Selina’s apartment building*

Bruce: *comes out in a partially unbottoned dress shirt and a skewed necktie, holding a bouquet of petal-less roses*

Selina:

Bruce: *grins sheepishly*

Selina: What use is a jet-powered vehicle with missle launchers if it can’t get you to a dinner reservation on time?