Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: I’m going to speak very carefully in case he’s with you.
Red Robin: You’re right.
Red Hood: Right about what? He’s there? What’s going on? Who’s with you? If it’s Bruce, say “nobody”.
Red Robin: Nobody.
Red Hood: Well, now I don’t know what’s going on!
Tag: bruce wayne
When Batman tries to be a “fun dad”…
Bruce: I just booked us a little fishing trip.
Jason: Why, what did I do?
When your super best friend could give Saran wrap a lesson…
Batman: *ignores vibrations coming from his pocket*
Wonder Woman: How many times a day does Clark text you?
Batman: Hrrrn.
Batman: Just… 40.
When your son’s pretty chummy with “Fun Uncle Supes”…
Bruce [to Dick]: Clark is inviting you to lunch at the Fortress.
Bruce: Hn.
Bruce: The good thing is, I get to come, too.
Timothy Jackson Drake, a saga…
Batman: Robin. Are you sleeping while on patrol?
Robin: Uh, uh… No! There’s, uh… a… bug in my eye and I’m trying to suffocate it.
Running a few errands before meeting up with his brothers on Family Patrol Night…
Red Hood: *slaps $1000 on the counter* I need an Advil, a roll of duct tape, a pack of peanuts, and four beers.
Store clerk: *blinks*
The duct tape is to tie up Batman so the boys can do what they want.
The Advil is for the pain after being punched by Batman while subduing him.
The beer is to get him uninhibited so he won’t realize how bad of an idea to try to subdue Batman is.
And the peanuts are for Alfred, the reason why he was actually sent to the store
Sounds legit.
When your best friend wants to officially introduce your team of outlaws to Batman…
Arsenal: I’d rather not be the cause of further estrangement between you and your dad, Dude.
Red Hood: To be fair, my “dad” was already “estrange” before you met him. *finger-guns*
Batman: I just have to calm down and figure this out.
Superman: …
Superman: On your own? While you’re bleeding to death?
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
He’s a big boy, Clark.
Security alarm at the Titans Tower: INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT!
Impulse: *runs out of the conference room*
Impulse: *runs back into the conference room half a second later*
Impulse: *panting* I saw a freaky, terrifying man!
Robin: *not looking up from what he’s reading* That’s just Batman.
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