Batman: My job is not to make friends, it is to stop bad things from happening.
Tag: bruce wayne
Batman and Superman: *arguing*
Martian Manhunter: …
Martian Manhunter [to Wonder Woman]: Do they know that they’re finishing each other’s sentences?
Let the courtship commence…
Selina: … I also accept cash, chocolates, and jewelry.
Bruce: Duly noted.
Jason [to Dick, about Bruce]: Don’t you see? He’s feeding you enough truth so it’s easier to swallow the lies!
Batman: So, we can narrow our suspects down to rich men with good taste.
Superman: Are you saying you’re a suspect?
“Batman v Superman”, a summary…
Batman: I thought you were the bad guy.
Superman: If I were the bad guy, you would be dead by now.
Sometimes your best friend just needs to hear it from you…
Batman: *typing on the Batcomputer*
Superman: *whooshes into the Batcave* Oh, Bruce, I feel so foolish.
Batman: *reading casefiles* No.
Superman: Yes. I’m foolish and I’m funny and I’m needy. Am I needy?
Batman: *shuts down the Batcomputer* No.
Superman: Are you sure I’m not needy? ‘Cause I feel needy sometimes.
Batman: No. *walks out of the Batcave*
That one time – one time – Bruce tried this thing call “chilling out”…
Superman: This just… isn’t you.
Batman: It’s me now. It’s the me that can recline.
Batman: *leans back and falls off the Batcomputer chair*
Superman: *trying to keep a straight face* Did that hurt?
Batman: Hrrn.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Only his ego, Clark. Only his ego.
That one time – one time – Bruce and Talia tried to co-parent Damian…
Bruce: Well, I think stress is what leads to trouble. You know, the kind you put on Damian, even when he gets an A?
Talia: Minus. And an A gets him an extra hour of sleep. He knows that.
Tim [about Bruce]: He’s our dad. I don’t want to disappoint him.
Jason: You and I are so different. It’s like we’re not even related.
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