When asked if they ever get scared of Batman…
(Basically every) Robin: I’m scared all right. I’m scared of not measuring up.
Tag: bruce wayne
Martha: *clutching a picture frame close to her chest* Bruce, I have a lovely picture of you and Clark for you.
Bruce: No, thanks, Mrs. Kent. I know what we both look like.
Red Robin: *crouching behind the giant coin in the Batcave*
Nightwing: *walks in*
Red Robin: *to his walkie-talkie* The Hug Machine is here. I repeat, the Hug Machine is here. Smiling on all cylinders.
The rest of the Batfamily: *temporarily stop brooding to find hiding places*
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Dick tends to get in the way of angst and sadness.
Batman: I have eight kids. I’ve been tired since 1940.
Happy birthday, Brucie.
Superman: Look, we’re not here to play Good Cop/Batman.
Batman: Hrrn. *cracks knuckles*
Criminal: *gulps*
Bruce: Jason, I can forgive the smoking, but I can’t forgive the lie.
Alfred: *glares at Bruce*
Bruce: Or the smoking.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Alfred raised you both right.
Seeing your adoptive father again after “choosing to follow a different path in life” be like…
Batman: Why so long?
Nightwing: I know! It’s weird! It’s been such a long time since we last talked –
Batman: I meant your hair.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
We asked him the same thing.
Nightwing: I’m going to hug you.
Batman: Thank you for the warning.
Alfred: The more kids the merrier.
Bruce: Be careful what you say, Alfred. You might give me ideas.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
And the rest, as they say, is history.
Bat-
stache
From Mad Magazine No. 7
On sale 4/16
Art by Kerry Callen
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 