Robin: *skims a mission dossier*
Robin: -Tt-
Robin: Father would never ask me to do this.
Nightwing: No, you’re right. He wouldn’t. He’d ask me to ask you.
Tag: bruce wayne
Why the Batman’s never flying commercial with any of his sons again…
Jason: *chucking the menu for first class at the seat behind him* How many beers can we order at once?
Flight attendant: I’m not sure… No one’s ever asked that.
Bruce: *at the seat behind Jason* Hrrrn.
Arriving late to a Batfamily briefing (and ignoring your adoptive father’s glare) be like…
Red Hood: *tipping an imaginary hat* Ladies, gentlemen. Don’t get up, I wouldn’t for you.
Nightwing: *staring at broken frames with pictures of Batman and Jason as Robin in them*
Red Hood: *shrugs* We deal with stress differently. You reminisce. I smash things.
– • – • – • – • –
Like you weren’t crying like a baby while doing it, Jay.
Tim: *turns on his boombox and tunes it to an 80s pop music station*
Tim: *gets up on the table and starts dancing the “running man”*
Bruce:
Dick:
Babs:
Jason:
Steph:
Cass:
Damian: -Tt-
Duke:
Alfred:
Tim: I’m rocking so much adrenaline right now! My blood is basically Red Bull!
Alfred: *nods at Jason*
Jason: *tackles Tim in the middle of the “cabbage patch”*
Alfred: *waits for the table to be cleared of his grandsons, then lays out breakfast entrèes for everyone*
– • – • – • – • –
Good morning from the Manor!
Trying to eavesdrop on Bruce and Alfred be like…
Dick and Jason: *peering through a vent in the Manor*
Dick: They’ve been in there a while.
Jason: Yep.
Dick: Can’t be good.
Jason: Nope.
Dick: Think they’re talking about me?
Jason: No, I think they’re talking about me.
Dick: Yeah. That makes way more sense.
Trying to eavesdrop on Bruce and Alfred be like…
Dick and Jason: *peering through a vent in the Manor*
Dick: They’ve been in there a while.
Jason: Yep.
Dick: Can’t be good.
Jason: Nope.
Dick: Think they’re talking about me?
Jason: No, I think they’re talking about me.
Dick: Yeah. That makes way more sense.
When your billionaire father’s also a vigilante who doesn’t have time to ponder how much gifts for teenagers cost…
Tim: Bruce, um, can I have some money to buy Damian a birthday present?
Bruce: Here you go.
Tim: *counts the money* Bruce, this is $110!
Bruce: Oh, sorry. *hands him the whole wallet*
When Batman tucks you in…
Damian: …
Damian: Pennyworth.
Damian: Could you loosen my blanket a little? Father tucked me in too tight and it’s cutting off the circulation in my arms and legs.
Overheard at the weekly Gotham City Rogues Gallery meeting…
[about Batman]: … This guy’s got contingency plans for his contingency plans. It’s like we’re battling a super villain!
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