Batman: *watching security footage of Green Lantern and Green Arrow making fun of him while he was giving a mission briefing earlier that day* Hn. Do they have any idea how much stalking experience I have?
Superman: If only they did, Bruce. You’re very prolific. You’re the Picasso of creepiness.
Tag: bruce wayne
When you’re secretly feeling insecure because your kids seem to prefer being with their Kryptonian uncle over you…
Batman: *all up in Superman’s space* Because I’m a cool dad, Clark.
Batman: That’s my thang. I’m hip, I surf the web, I text. LOL: laugh out loud. OMG: oh my Grodd. WTF: why the face.
Trying to figure out if Batman’s metahuman or not be like…
The Flash: What do you think he is?
Green Lantern: Not what I thought he’d be.
The Flash: What did you think he’d be?
Green Lantern: Fun.
You know that end scene in “Justice League” (2017)?
Bruce: Can I start buying you things now?
Clark: No, you can’t. But, hey, I’ll tell you what. You can buy Lois stuff.
Bruce: I know you’d like a new tractor.
Clark: Lois would love a new tractor.
Uh huh, Clark.
Also, Bruce buying him things? Canon. And by “things”, I mean real estate property and stuff. And by “canon”, I mean canon, folks.
Superman: Bruce, I’m not going to lie to your son.
Batman: Come on, Clark. I lie to my sons all the time.
Sometimes your best friend just needs to hear it from you…
Batman: *typing on the Batcomputer*
Superman: *whooshes into the Batcave* Oh, Bruce, I feel so foolish.
Batman: *reading casefiles* No.
Superman: Yes. I’m foolish and I’m funny and I’m needy. Am I needy?
Batman: *shuts down the Batcomputer* No.
Superman: Are you sure I’m not needy? ‘Cause I feel needy sometimes.
Batman: No. *walks out of the Batcave*
Dining out with your best friend be like…
Bruce [to waiter]: I will have a glass of your oakiest chardonnay, please.
Clark: And I will have a waffle with your maple-iest syrup.
Wally: We don’t get to choose our parents.
Dick: *watching Bruce talking to Alfred*
Dick: Sometimes we do.
Nightwing:
Batman:
Nightwing: *grins*
Batman: *sighs*
Nightwing: Do I have clearance to hug you now?
Batman: You do.
Batman: *looking around the Batcave for any sign of Nightwing*
Alfred: Master Dick’s having his hair blown out.
Batman: That’s a thing? That I pay for?
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 