Inviting your best friend to your hometown be like…
Clark: *driving to Smallville* Bruce, I know you have some very definite expectations for this weekend.
Bruce: *on the passenger’s seat* Why do you think that?
Clark: Because you sent me an e-mail three days ago that said, “Clark, I have some very definite expectations for this weekend”.
Tag: bruce wayne
You know you’re the newbie when…
Green Lantern (Simon): Who’s the big, scary guy?
Green Lantern (Hal): *shakes his head* His name’s Batman. You should know that by now.
When you’re just really homesick…
Dick: I just had a major epiphany. You know my lease is almost up, right? Well, I’ve been thinking, “Dick, it’s time you moved on in your life as a man”. It’s not just about me anymore.
Barbara: I think that’s a very mature thought, Hunk Wonder.
Dick: So you know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna move back in with Bruce.
Mornings at the Manor…
Bruce: *picks up the Gotham Gazette*
Dick: *doing pull-ups using the kitchen chandelier*
Alfred: *tugs at Dick’s feet to get him off the chandelier*
Tim: *typing furiously on his laptop, eyes narrowed with concentration*
Jason: *pours a fifth shot of espresso into Tim’s mug*
Damian: *picks bacon off Jason’s plate and feeds it to Alfred the Cat*
Bruce: *puts down the newspaper, buries his face in a hand and shakes his head*
Bruce: Just one question, boys. Do you get pleasure out of humiliating your family?
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
I’d say stick to the Business Section, Bruce, but I guess it’s kind of hard to avoid the headlines, huh?
Batman: I’m looking for John Constantine. Can you tell me where to find him?
Doctor Fate: What do I look like? An information desk?
Batman: Excuse me?
Doctor Fate: *rolls his eyes inside his helmet and conjures up a portal* Yes, fine, you’re excused. Oh, and don’t forget to fill in our customer comment card on your way out.
In the Batplane…
Batman:
The Flash:
Batman:
The Flash: *shuddering*
Batman: You okay?
The Flash: *still trying to get over seeing Red Robin and Robin in action only a few moments back*
The Flash: You convinced two healthy kids to jump out of a plane. Is that even legal?
Superman: *depowered in a Kryptonite-lined cage*
Wonder Woman: *tied up by her own lasso*
The Flash: *weakened by a low blood sugar level*
Green Lantern: *closing and opening a ring-less hand*
Batman: *walks into the room*
Robin: *comes out from under his cape*
Green Lantern: You got a kid with you? Greaaaat. And you’re the ones saving us?
Bruce: Where’s Damian?
Tim: Doing Stuff.
Bruce: I don’t like the sound of that. Where’s Dick?
Tim: Trying to stop Damian from doing the stuff.
Bruce: What? Where’s Jason then?
Tim: Trying to stop Dick from stopping Damian doing the stuff.
Bruce: Why are you here?
Tim: I’m here to stop you from stopping Jason from stopping Dick from stopping Damian doing the stuff.
Batman and his sons, an accurate summary.
Bruce: Have I ever told you that you’re my favorite Robin?
Dick: Bruuuuce. Come on!
Bruce: I think instinctively you must know…
Dick: I mean, it’s like…
Bruce: I mean you’ve gotten away with everything…
Dick: *giggles* Bruce, you don’t have to say that…
Bruce: You’ll always be my little bo–
Door: *thud thud thud*
Batman: *muffled* Nightwing, get up. It’s time for patrol.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
And it had been such a nice dream, too.
Jason: Hey, so you’re planning a surprise birthday party for the old Bat? I think he’s onto you.
Dick: Yeah, so please, please, please don’t say anything to Bruce.
Jason: You want me to lie to him?
Dick: Is that a problem?
Jason: Nah.
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