Tag: bruce wayne

After interrogating a criminal mastermind together…

Superman: *wriggling his eyebrows* How was my “bad cop”?

Batman: You were unbelievable.

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

Literally, Clark. Bruce couldn’t believe you as a “bad cop”. Nor could he believe that he agreed to let you play one.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

At the Watchtower…

Justice League: *watching surveillance, Youtube and news footage on the mainframe computer*

Batman: *walks into the room and sees Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, Robin and Lark (and a bunch of burning buildings and screaming citizens) on the screen*

Superman: *arms crossed*

Wonder Woman: *hands on hips, shaking her head*

Aquaman: *raises an eyebrow*

The Flash: *wide-eyed*

Green Lantern: *biting his lip to suppress a smirk*

Cyborg: Wo-ho-hoooooo.

Batman: Hn.

Batman: Whatever they did, add it to my tab.

Batman: *walks out*

And if you were convinced that Batman went back to work at the Watchtower after walking calmly and collectedly out of that room, then you probably didn’t even consider that he’d run to the teleporters at top speed to get back to Earth and do damage control (a.k.a. give his kids a piece of his mind).

The Signal: *feeling dejected after receiving “The Talk” from Batman after a mission gone awry*

Nightwing: *putting a comforting arm on his shoulder* Hey, don’t listen to Bruce.

Red Hood: *opening a bottle of beer using a batarang lying around* We don’t.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Evenings in the Batcave…

Batman: *typing on the Batcomputer*

Red Robin: *tuning up the Redbird*

Batman: Fart.

Red Robin:

Red Robin: Uh…

Red Robin: Did you say “fart”?

Batman: Yes. That’s me being rather silly.

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

And, to this day, no one believes Tim.

Superman: *fighting Parademons on Apokolips*

Superman:

Superman: *chuckles* Fart.

~ • ~ • ~ •

I mean if Clark can canonically single out Bruce’s heartbeat while flying over earth, I think he can hear him say “Fart”.

@sleepytarotcat

batmanisagatewaydrug:

tonight’s obsession: circumstances that lead to the Batfamily giving up and calling an uber  

Nightwing: *speaking in a hushed tone* No, no, B, look, just –

Nightwing: *hissing* Will you stop that please? You’re breaking the freakin’ door! You want to buy this nice gentleman a brand new car, is that what you want?

Batman: *snorts, then let’s go of the door handle and glares at the window*

Nightwing: There. Was that so hard? Now, relax. As I was saying, once in a while, it’s nice to let someone else take the wheel, you know? To just let go of that consuming urge to control everything and everyone and –

Driver: *eyeing them through the rear view mirror* So, you two headed to the Gotham Comic Con?

Batman: Hrrrn.

Nightwing: Yes, yes, that’s exactly it.