Bart: *watching as Batman inspects their base after interrupting their game time and calling for a meeting*
Bart [to Tim]: *still in his pajamas* Your dad, huh? So this is who we have to thank for a lifetime of grouchy-ness.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Heeey, Impulse, Robin’s not that bad… Is he?
What Batman’s day is really like…
Dick: *watching on as one of his brothers does something*
Dick: Bruce? Did you just see – ?
Bruce: Yes. I’ll deal with that tomorrow.
Dick: No, no, you’re not looking –
Bruce: Dick, I just got word that there’s a threat heading towards Earth from Apokolips, so I’m not in the mood for –
Dick: A second! A second is all I’m asking.
Dick: *eagerly pointing at Tim with both hands*
Tim: *asleep, slobbering on the slobber-proof Batcomputer keyboard*
Bruce:
Bruce: *grinning* Hn.
When Batman (inexplicably) asks Hellblazer to watch over his sons while he’s away on a mission…
Nightwing: *comes in through the front door of the Manor*
Hellblazer: Ah, the Golden Boy has returned. Release the doves!
Nightwing: Hi, Mr. Constantine.
Red Hood: *breaks a window in the foyer and climbs in*
Hellblazer: And you must be the second Robin. I have been thoroughly briefed on you and if you do one thing wrong, I’m going to go medieval on your arse.
Attempting to buy weapons at an underground armory…
Red Hood [to store owner]: *realizing that Bruce cancelled his credit cards* Wait, fine, my credit is bad. Do you accept street cred?
Batman: *walks into the Watchtower’s Hall of Justice*
Batman: *narrows his eyes* Hn.
Batman: *swiftly turns on the light*
Everyone: SURPRISE, BRUCE!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! *confetti explosions, colorful bat-shaped balloons, tooting horns*
Batman: *wide-eyed, open-mouthed and motionless*
Wonder Woman: *checks him for a pulse*
Superman: *whispers in his ear* I know it’s your specialty, but let’s try not to overthink this one, okay?
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Aww, you guys! Don’t scare him like that.
What Batman’s day is really like…
Dick: *watching on as one of his brothers does something*
Dick: Bruce? Did you just see – ?
Bruce: Yes. I’ll deal with that tomorrow.
Batman: *working on a case by himself in the Hall of Justice*
Superman and Wonder Woman: *watching him*
Superman: *whispering* The good news is, he’s the best at what he does.
Wonder Woman: *whispering back* The bad news is, he knows it.
Taking your circus-raised son to a gala be like…
Dick: *grabs three empty champagne flutes from a table*
Dick: Have you ever tried to juggle?
Bruce: Yes. I’m juggling my love for you and my embarrassment of you right now.
When your adoptive father’s one of the best stalkers in the world…
Red Hood [to Batman]: How did you know I was here? Are you tracking my cell phone signal? You know what, I don’t want to know! It’ll just lead to more questions.
Dick [about Bruce]: “Clingy”? He called me “clingy”?
Tim: *nods*
Dick: Damn.
Dick: I’ve got to call him to make sure everything’s okay.
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