Trying to eavesdrop on Bruce and Alfred be like…
Dick and Jason: *peering through a vent in the Manor*
Dick: They’ve been in there a while.
Jason: Yep.
Dick: Can’t be good.
Jason: Nope.
Dick: Think they’re talking about me?
Jason: No, I think they’re talking about me.
Dick: Yeah. That makes way more sense.
Alfred and Bruce talking about dinner plans until they realize someone was listening in on them through the vents:
Bruce: They’ve been in there a while.
Alfred: They certainly have.
Bruce: Can’t be good.
Alfred: Of course it isn’t, Master Bruce.
Bruce: Think they’re conspiring against us?
Alfred: No, sir, I suppose they are planning on getting some blackmail material on you.
Bruce: Yeah. That makes sense.
Tag: bruce wayne
Batman: The police found spare bullets all over the crime scene, and I thought to myself, “Yes, that would be my son, Jason”.
Red Hood: So, you’re not mad at me?
Red Hood: *holding an unconscious criminal by the scruff of the neck as a government facility explodes behind them*
Batman: *glaring*
Red Hood: I got the guy. The least you can do is fist bump me or something.
Superman: *reading a case file* Did you run this by Commissioner Gordon?
Batman: Hn. I tried, but Jim was as interested in my theory as I was in “Eat Pray Love”.
Hal: So, what do you think I should do, Bats?
Bruce: Find the person you would least likely ask for advice and go to him or her.
Hal: I thought that was what I was doing.
Clark: Why don’t you sit down and relax?
Bruce: Have you met me?
Arsenal: Okay, we gotta go to my house so we can use one of my sports cars.
Red Hood: Roy, you don’t own a sports car.
Arsenal: Right. We gotta go to your dad’s house so we can use one of his sports cars.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Hence, Batman having words with Green Arrow.
Dick [about Bruce]: “Clingy”? He called me “clingy”?
Tim: *nods*
Dick: Damn.
Dick: I’ve got to call him to make sure everything’s okay.
Batman: Good job out there, Rayner.
Green Lantern: That means a lot coming from you, Mr. Batman, sir.
Green Lantern: *conjures up a cellphone construct*
Green Lantern: So, maybe if you could say it again to my Snapchat for a keepsake, that’d be amazing.
Batman: *glaring*
Green Lantern: Or, you know, we can do it later. I’ll just remember the phrasing.
What people think Batman thinks about when he’s lying down on his king-sized bed all alone in the wee hours of the morning after patrol while staring at the ceiling: JUSTICE.
What he really thinks about: How can I know so much about the bonds of chemicals yet so little about the bonds of friendship?
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