Tag: bruce wayne

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Alfred: *walks into the Batcave with a tray of cookies*

Alfred: *watches as a thick, sticky, white substance drops from the ceiling and onto the tray*

Alfred: *sighs deeply* Is this absolutely necessary, Master Bruce?

Batman: *yelling from the ground floor while making a few adjustments to a vehicle* I thought it would brighten the cave up.

Alfred: *looks up at crevices on the ceiling* And where, may I ask, did you find this many of them?

Batman: 

Batman: Uh –

Alfred: *throws the guano-contaminated cookies into a trash bin* MASTER DAMIAN. *speed-walks out of the cave*

Nightwing: *getting off his motorcycle after it screeches to a halt* He is not gonna wanna see that room. *looks up* I like what you’ve done with the place. The yellow against all the black? *kisses his fingertips* Magnificent.

Batman: *grins* @fleetof-fandoms’ idea. You’ll have to send them a package for me. 

Nightwing: Yeaaaah… I don’t think a bumblebee-colored Batmobile qualifies as a package-package, but sure, I’ll drive it over. 

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Batfather’s Day…

Batman: *opens a blood-stained greeting card with a bullet hole in the middle*

Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: Did you see the hearts? It took me, like, six minutes.

~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~

In which Alfred gets teary-eyed from seeing the biggest grin he’s seen on his son’s face in years (and the card he himself got from his grandson).

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Bruce: What are you doing?

Alfred: *collecting all kinds of paperwork into piles and shutting down the Batcomputer*

Alfred: Depriving you of all stimuli. Time for you to get some sleep, Master Bruce.

Bruce: What? No, no. Right after you solve a case, you’re flushed with a success. We should double down with work!

Alfred: *walks away with said piles*

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

Wanna bet he does the same to Master Timothy?