Bruce: I’m not crazy, Alfred. I’ve simply been in a very bad mood for forty years.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Cue Alfred’s deadpan-but-savage response.
Tag: bruce wayne
Green Lanten: It’s a mess. You must feel horrible! You’ve lost everything. Your parents, your sons, your city…
Batman: *gritting teeth* Thank you for summing that up, Jordan.
Dick Grayson: We won’t lose because we have this.
Dick Grayson: *points at his chest*
M’gann M’orzz: We have heart?
Dick Grayson: Heart? No. Me. I’m pointing at myself. I’m going to win this for us.
A member of the Batfamily in any team, a summary.
Superman: *clears his throat awkwardly* Because I value our relationship, Bruce, I need to be frank with you: We are in a fight.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
We know where Jon gets it from.
When your super-powered colleagues beg you to teach them your “edgy” ways…
Green Lantern: How’s that field training with Barry going?
Batman: Let me put it this way, Jordan: he makes you look like a natural-born vigilante.
Batman: The depths of your degeneracy continue to astound me.
Red Hood: Really? Still?
Someone from Themyscira: Oooh, who’s that?
Artemis: *looks behind her and sighs happily at the red-hooded, gun-toting vigilante waving at her*
Artemis: Jason. Who proposed to me by engraving it on the back of a knife.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
In which, out of trusting Bruce, Diana gave Jason a free pass to the island.
Saving the coordinates of his Fortress of Solitude on Batman’s communicator…
Superman: If you ever want to save the world again, you know where I am. *finger-guns*
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Bat “Like I Don’t Already Know Where It Is” Man
Bat “Like I’m Gonna Call You” Man
Bat “I Hate Guns, Cut That Out” Man
Imagine: Bruce, when he’s finally had too many children/Robins to count…
Pre-mission briefing…
Nightwing [narrating]: He didn’t even bother to learn the new Batkids’ names…
Batman: Listen up, masks. In order to save us all some time, I will call all the males “Dukes” and all the females “Daisies”.
The Signal: *pumped* “Duke” is my actual name!
Batman: Hn.
Batman: Then, out of fairness to the others, you will be “Olaf”.
Batman: Dukes, Daisies, Olaf, I will be in the Batcave.
Sometimes I wish I had the self confidence of street thugs in Gotham. Batman has fought beings like darkseid and won, yet they are like… “Me. It’s me. I’m the one who’s gonna take down Batman”.
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