When you’re not fond of reporting to Batman…
Nightwing: Should we tell the Boss?
Red Hood: We?
Red Robin: Well, now that you know the particulars, yeah.
Red Hood: Timmy, two minutes ago I was blissfully ignorant.
Tag: bruce wayne
Jason: What Bruce’s asking me to do is nuts!
Tim: Okay, but is it nuts and the right thing, or just nuts?
Arkham Knight [about Batman]: I’d lock up my own father if I thought he was scamming street rats.
Scarecrow: Your own father?
Arkham Knight: … But with lots of back-up.
Some dads just don’t go down that easily. A son knows.
After the Batfamily asked him to lay low for a bit…
Jason: I was… jogging.
Bruce: Jogging. In leather pants, a kevlar hoodie, and muddy work boots.
Bruce: Hn.
Nightwing: Better get some rest, Bruce…
Batman: I’m tired, Dick. The kind of tired you can’t sleep off.
Downtime at the Watchtower…
Superman: What’ll you do when you retire from being a superhero?
Batman: Besides just being a burden to my children?
Green Lantern: *smirks* I thought that was a hobby.
Wonder Woman: *giggles* Not that you’re not good at it.
Batman: Hn. Thank you very much. One thing I know for sure: On Sundays, I’ll be right here. And I hope all of you will be, too.
Batman: I could be wrong.
Superman: Have you ever said that and actually meant it?
Batman: No.
Dick: *decides to move on from being Robin and become Nightwing*
Bruce: Is there anything I can say?
Dick: You can give me your word that you’ll be just as hard on my successor as you were on me.
Bruce: You have my word.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Red Hood, upon hearing this anecdote: Why, that little piece of sh–
In the Batmobile, heading home…
Batman: How long until we intercept Alfred?
Nightwing: Three minutes.
Batman: We run every red light.
Meanwhile, at the Manor…
Alfred: *preparing to make the dreaded cucumber sandwiches as a post-patrol snack *
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
To learn more about these “cukewiches”, check out Trinity (2008) #10 and Batman (2016) #16.
The Robins as…
DANCE INSTRUCTORS
Dick
- A lot of different styles, but mostly contempo or jazz
- Daily outfits range from booty shorts to harem pants
- Mind-blowing fluidity (and that he’s so easy to look at and utterly approachable is just the cherry on top)
Jason
- Capoeira (or any style that’s close to a martial art)
- Free sessions especially held for street kids (with Batburger meals on his tab if they choose to hang out afterwards)
- Encourages students to embrace their individuality in self-expression
Tim
- “I said a hip hop, hippie to the hippie, the hip, hip a hop, and you don’t stop, a rock it out”
- Co-instructs with Cass, who’ll teach ballet from time to time
- Makes sure to emphasize discipline as much as he does fun
Damian
- Traditional dances from all over the world (like the Arabian Dabke) – recital-level costumes included
- Yoga as warm-up (preferrably the one that involves goats)
- “Water breaks are for the weak”
Who teaches pole dancing?
Alfred: *referring to a dusty pole dancing kit that he just retreived from the ancient Wayne Manor attic* Master Bruce, where would you like this installed?
Bruce: Hn. The training room.
Alfred: *wistful* What were you, 18? 20? I forget.
Bruce: It’s been a while, yes. And it’s time my children learned how to use it, too. The skills are definitely transferrable to combat.
Alfred: Well, I’m certain Master Dick has an idea, but carry on. And, please, keep it decent.
Who, indeed, @dead-birbs-tell-no-tails .
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 