Conner [to Bruce]: Your son, he’s my best friend, he’s like a brother to me. But he’s a disaster.
Tag: bruce wayne
At a bar…
Bartender: Where’d you get that jacket?
Jason: *sips beer* I was buried in it.
Bartender:
Bartender: *awkwardly moves away*
Idk some Gothamites are wack, they’d probably be into it
Clark Kent, mild-mannered reporter of the Daily Planet, following up on a lead at said bar: Jason? What’re you doing all the way here? Does your fath- Bruce know you’re here?
Clark: You really don’t need to cut my meat for me.
Bruce: You could’ve reminded me of that when I started.
Bruce: Can I get you anything? Juice box? ‘Nanners?
Clark: …’Nanners?
Bruce: Sorry, dad brain. Ba-nanners.
The GCPD closing in be like…
♫ ♩ Bat Boys, Bat Boys
Whatcha gonna do?♪ ♫
♬ Whatcha gonna do
When they come for you? ♫ ♩
Meirl
Imagine: Superman (“cop”) interrogating a suspect, feat. Batman’s disappointed glare.
bruce wayne: Okay… I lied a few times. And I know I’ve made some mistakes in the past.
diana prince: Thousands.
bruce wayne: And some times, I’ve led you into danger.
clark kent: Always.
bruce wayne: But, at least I had the best intentions in mind.
oliver queen: Yours.
bruce wayne: And things have always turned out okay.
the entire justice league: NEVER!
Red Hood, after being extracted by Green Lantern from a remote island as per Batman’s orders…
Jason: Well?! Being a vigilante makes you crazy! I mean what kind of job is that, where you get murdered and have to relive it over and over?! Hello, stress! Don’t even get me started on Bruce, I mean he –
Guy: He can be a steel-clad douchebag, I know. Why do you think I left the League?
Jason: Wh-? You were in the Justice League?!
Guy: Briefly, way back. Didn’t work out, because, ya know, your father…
Jason: Was impossible to please, right?
Guy: If you only knew…
Jason: What?
Guy: … how much your dad loves you! You would at least have the heart to go tell him you’re quitting in person.
Jason: Eesh. Rather get shot with a flare…
Negotiating their release from Nanda Parbat…
Red Hood: We gotta get that phone, or something, I don’t know! But I don’t want Bruce talking to Ra’s!
Arsenal: Why not? He’s been coming to your rescue since you were in green spandex briefs!
Batman [on the Comm Link]: Jason, I know I may not say this very often –
Red Hood: Or ever.
Batman: Well, congratulations, you ruined it. But I’m still very proud of you.
Red Hood: Awww!
Batman: Hrrrn.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 