Why he sometimes regrets inviting colleagues to his kids’ recitals…
Bruce: *weeping with pride as Cass dances on stage* My daughter, my daughter…
Oliver: Come on, Bruce, she’s not that bad.
Tag: bruce wayne
Batman [to a criminal]: *gripping him tightly by the collar* You think you’ve got guts? Try raising my kids!
He’s… tired.
Arsenal: Is it true that Batman has retractable fangs?
Red Hood:
Red Hood: Yes.
“Injustice 2″…
Batman [to Superman]: One other sad thing is, Clark, you’re still the best friend I’ve ever had.
Jon: *observing Bruce, who’s talking to Dick* Is that your dad?
Damian: Both of them, yes.
Simon: *in civilian clothes, whistling while making tacos in the kitchen*
Batman: *perched on the window sill* Hello, Baz.
Simon: Jess and Hal are in the living room. One girlish scream from me and they go into Lantern mode.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Which is why you take your ring with you at all times. You never know when a creepy colleague will show up at your apartment unannounced.
At a Justice League mission briefing…
Batman: Any questions?
Red Hood: *yelling from the back* Why’re you such a poopy head?
Red Robin [whispering to Superboy]: That’s why he gets timeouts.
“Fatherhood for Dummies” by Bruce Wayne…
Dick: You’re writing Damian a check? What kind of gift is that?
Bruce: You told me he likes Transformer toys. This check transforms into any toy he wants.
After finding out that Red Hood’s a former Robin…
Superman: I know this comes as a shock to you –
Batman: Please, Clark. If I had a nickel for every time one of my sons died, got resurrected by an assassin overlord’s daughter, and came back as a lethal antihero, I’d haVE A NICKEL!
He’s, uh, stressed, Clark.
Batman: The depths of your degeneracy continue to astound me.
Red Hood: Really? Still?
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