Evenings in the Batcave…
Batman: *typing on the Batcomputer*
Red Robin: *tuning up the Redbird*
Batman: Fart.
Red Robin:
Red Robin: Uh…
Red Robin: Did you say “fart”?
Batman: Yes. That’s me being rather silly.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
And, to this day, no one believes Tim.
Superman: *fighting Parademons on Apokolips*
Superman:
Superman: *chuckles* Fart.
~ • ~ • ~ •
I mean if Clark can canonically single out Bruce’s heartbeat while flying over earth, I think he can hear him say “Fart”.
Tag: bruce wayne
Green Lantern (Hal) [to Batman]: I just figured out your superpower! You can irritate people to death.
After interrogating a criminal mastermind together…
Superman: *wriggling his eyebrows* How was my “bad cop”?
Batman: You were unbelievable.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Literally, Clark. Bruce couldn’t believe you as a “bad cop”. Nor could he believe that he agreed to let you play one.
Batman: *announces his engagement to Catwoman at a Justice League meeting*
Green Lantern: *whispering* I’ll put twenty-five dollars on the wedding being cancelled.
Green Arrow: *whispering back* Fifty says it’s cancelled before the sun goes down.
On speaker phone with The Flash and about to discuss the scientific details of a case…
Batman: This is Batman.
Green Lantern: *yelling from across the Batcave while checking out the Batjet* And Hal, so speak English!
Barry: So, what’s Batman’s son like?
Hal: If Hannibal Lecter and Freddy Krueger had a lovechild, that kid would be afraid of Robin.
Looking for the last surviving box of Twinkies in the Watchtower be like…
Green Lantern: Batman! You’ve got to break Bats. Superman tells him everything.
The Flash: Those tiny ears hold so many secrets.
When you visit an old friend and decide to check out one of the city’s “local destinations”…
At the Iceberg Lounge…
Attractive Young Woman: So, you rich or something?
Hal: I’m not Bruce Wayne-rich, but I do okay.
You know you’re the newbie when…
Green Lantern (Simon): Who’s the big, scary guy?
Green Lantern (Hal): *shakes his head* His name’s Batman. You should know that by now.
Training with The Batman…
Bruce: You, Jordan. Push-ups in three minutes.
Hal *wheezing on the floor from two hours of weight lifting* Barry, be a pal. Lift up my hand and smack him with it.
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