Green Lantern: Hey, Bats!
Batman: *muttering* Gardner. There you are.
Green Lantern: Huh?
Batman: *grumbling* I was just now wondering if there was anything that could actually push my headache into a full blown migraine. And there you are.
Tag: bruce wayne
Getting caught in an argument between Barman and Superman at the Watchtower…
Green Lantern: So, who’d you side with?
The Flash: Neither. I just pretended we were telepathically paged by J’onn. And then when they said they didn’t hear anything, I called them both liars and zoomed away.
Green Lantern: Smooth.
Bruce being suspiciously… relaxed…
Dick: *watches as Alfred heads back to the kitchen carrying an empty softdrink bottle* What’s going on?
Dick: *spots Bruce sitting on a loveseat by the fireplace* Aha! What are you doing?
Bruce: Nothing. *pops the bottle cap off with just his index finger* Just enjoying a taste of my favorite beverage, the soda pop.
Jason: *feigns shock* Really? I have never seen you enjoy soda pop before.
Bruce: Hn.
Tim: *narrows his eyes* Have some now.
Bruce: *takes a sip* Ah, it’s delicious.
Damian: I don’t buy it, Father! You’re making the same face you made when you found Alfred’s chocolate chip cookie bits in your trail mix.
Dick: Something’s up. I’m patting you down. *proceeds to do just that, Officer Grayson-style*
Dick: Darn it, nothing but a non-surprisingly toned set of abs.
It’s 10 AM on a Sunday, kids. Give your father a break.
At a Batfamily reunion in Wayne Manor…
Bruce: Hello, party people. Dick told me to say that.
Dick: Yeah, I did. Ain’t no party like a Bruce Wayne party because a Bruce Wayne party is a total surprise to everyone.
Jason: Hey, so you’re planning a surprise birthday party for the old Bat? I think he’s onto you.
Dick: Yeah, so please, please, please don’t say anything to Bruce.
Jason: You want me to lie to him?
Dick: Is that a problem?
Jason: Nah.
Batman: *studying Kryptonian morphology* Hn. It’s no wonder none of the tests worked. You’re not shapeshifters. You’re aliens.
Superman: You know, I find that term racist.
Dick: And it’s not broadening Damian’s horizons. Trust me, Bruce’s idea of horizon broadening is a lot of fights walking home from a lot of jazz tap lessons.
When you see Batman at the middle of the dancefloor during the annual Justice League 80’s Tribute Dance Party…
Hal: *shouting over the noise* I must say, Bruce, it’s amusing to see you thoroughly de-high-horsed.
Bruce: That isn’t a word.
Hal: Oooh, back on the saddle he climbs.
Batman [to the rest of the Justice League]: Nobody form any opinions while I’m gone.
Green Lantern: *rolls his eyes* Well, hurry. We have no minds of our own.
Commissioner Gordon [about Red Hood]: I’ve got everything I need to convict your boy, except for motive, means, and opportunity.
Batman: You also have no evidence.
Commissioner Gordon: That’s implied.
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