Tag: bruce wayne

Evenings in the Batcave…

Batman: *typing on the Batcomputer*

Red Robin: *tuning up the Redbird*

Batman: Fart.

Red Robin:

Red Robin: Uh…

Red Robin: Did you say “fart”?

Batman: Yes. That’s me being rather silly.

And, to this day, no one believes Tim.

Mornings at the Manor…

Bruce: *picks up the Gotham Gazette*

Dick: *doing pull-ups using the kitchen chandelier*

Alfred: *tugs at Dick’s feet to get him off the chandelier*

Tim: *typing furiously on his laptop, eyes narrowed with concentration*

Jason: *pours a fifth shot of espresso into Tim’s mug*

Damian: *picks bacon off Jason’s plate and feeds it to Alfred the Cat*

Bruce: *puts down the newspaper, buries his face in a hand and shakes his head*

Bruce: Just one question, boys. Do you get pleasure out of humiliating your family?

~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~

I’d say stick to the Business Section, Bruce, but I guess it’s kind of hard to avoid the headlines, huh?

Mornings at the Manor…

Bruce: Good morning, everyone!

Alfred:

Dick:

Jason:

Tim:

Damian:

Bruce: *sits down on the kitchen table, pours himself a cup of coffee, and picks up the Gotham Gazette*

Jason [to Tim]: *whispering* Ah, crap. He’s in love again.

Because a cheerful Bruce is a suspicious Bruce. (And that might have something to do with a certain, um, Cat.)

After years of melodramatic friendship…

Batman: *outside the Fortress of Solitude* Knock, knock.

Superman: Who’s there?

Batman: Hrrrn. You’re there.

Superman: And I’ll always be there, Bruce.

Just open the darn door, Clark. And quit it with this passphrase-for-best friends-only routine.

So, remember that time when Darkseid’s Omega Beams sent Batman back in time? Well, he met some, uh, old friends there…

Caveman Hal [to Caveman Bruce]: Bats, people buy wheel because of sexy wife. Tonight, you and me party like it’s 9!

#family patrol nights

I recently posted about a new tag that I’d be using

(#mornings at the manor), which is meant for posts about the Batfamily’s domestic AM shenanigans. Then, I realized that if they had moments of adorable “normalcy” in the mornings, why wouldn’t they have them at night (when they’re usually out on patrol) as well? Hence, the tag above. 

I think I’ve already posted this headcanon on my other Tumblr account (a-wayne-at-heart), but in my mind, the Batkids (especially the Robins) try to find ways to amuse themselves while they’re patrolling together – much to their Batdad’s chagrin (but, really, he’s secretly amused and relieved that his children are getting along). 

When there’s downtime (stakeouts can be boring). When they’re getting on each other’s nerves. When they end up in ridiculous situations. When they’re trying not to dwell on the pressure of constantly being in life-and-death situations (or their own personal troubles). 

Humor can be a pretty effective coping mechanism for vigilantes, too.

So, this tag is for those posts which involve at least the four main Robins (Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian), with or without Batman and/or other family members, friends, colleagues, et al. 

(Maybe I’ll backtrack and tag much older posts. There’s just so many and I don’t have the patience for it right now. Haha.)

Nightwing: “B-Team” roll call. Hood?

Red Hood: *cocks guns* Here and handsome!

Nightwing: Little D?

Robin: *brandishes katana* Here and crazy!

Nightwing: Red?

Red Robin: *twirls Bo staff* I pity the fool! But also suggest ways he may better himself.

Batman: *facepalms* Hrrrn.

And that it why “Family Movie Nights” now come after “Family Patrol Nights”.