Batman: *glaring* Have I made myself clear?
Red Hood: You’re looking for the answer “Yes”.
Batman: *grits teeth* Yes.
Red Hood: Then, “yes”.
Tag: bruce wayne
When you’re trying to get work done but your sons decide that the Batcave is the ideal place for a squabble…
Jason: Well, what’s the word for you, Tim? You freaked out when I said “replacement”!
Tim: Imagine that!
Jason: You imagine it!
Bruce: *slams his fist on the Batcomputer*
Bruce: Both of you! Imagine. Shutting. Up.
Jason: *walks past the secret Batcave entrance*
Jason: *pauses*
Jason: *backtracks*
Bruce: *staring pensively into the abyss*
Jason: You’re being so quiet. Are you upset or are you just rebooting?
The Batman is not amused, Hood.
Contemplating what to add to the family’s home entertainment system be like…
Tim: Quick poll: PS4 or Xbox One? Dick.
Dick: Uh, Xbox One.
Tim: Steph.
Steph: Huh?
Tim: Jason.
Jason: PS4.
Tim: Babs.
Barbara: Both great.
Tim: Bruce.
Bruce: I like the Wii.
Tim: Thanks, Grandpa.
Batman [to Robin]: Sorry, I replaced you with a newer model.
Bruce, *gasp*!
“Reaching out” to your youngest son be like…
Bruce: I’m sorry you’re upset, son. You know, sometimes people seek the comfort of physical contact in moments like this –
Damian: Father, I am not flying back to Gotham City just so Grayson can give me a hug.
There, there, Bruce.
Mornings at the Manor…
Damian: *cutting down animal-shaped shrubs on the lawn with a katana*
Dick: *watches Damian through the kitchen window while eating his cereal*
Dick: *grins* His quirks just make you love him more.
Alfred: *blinks*
Alfred: *continues cooking omelettes*
Jason: *aggressively stuffs his mouth with pancakes*
Tim: *chokes on his coffee*
Bruce: *hides behind the Gotham Gazette*
Dick:
Dick: Someone please agree with me.
Bruce: Because I don’t want it in the Batmobile.
Jason: Well, what do you want me to do, Bruce?
*Jason holds up a used airsickness bag*
Jason: Just throw it out the window?
Bruce: *through gritted teeth* Obviously.
Jason: Oh.
*Jason throws the bag out the car window, hitting Damian*
Damian: TODD!
Jason: Ha, ha!
When you realize that little Robin’s not so little anymore…
Damian: I was going to spend the night with my special little lady –
Dick: *falls off the chandelier he was dangling from*
Jason: *chokes on the cigarette he was about to light up*
Tim: *wakes up*
Alfred: *accidentally pours tea on Tim*
Bruce: *freezes up*
Damian: – but she’s got worms and I had to take her to the vet.
Bruce, Alfred, Dick, Jason, and Tim: *collective sigh of relief*
Topics to avoid when you’re having a drink with your best friend…
Bruce [to Clark]: Feelings? What am I, a hippie at a love-in?
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