When you’re bored out of your mind at Kent Farm because your fathers are busy hanging out and won’t let you go on patrol without adult supervision…
Bruce and Clark: *chatting and drinking coffee*
Jon: *lies down on the grass* What are you doing?
Damian: *yawns* I’m just trying to throw batarangs at my father’s head, but the wind keeps taking it.
Tag: bruce wayne
Mornings at the Manor…
Tim: I’m losing my mind, guys. I sometimes touch the frayed part of the power cord just to feel something.
Alfred: *swiftly takes a step to the side to hide a frayed wire jutting from the kitchen wall*
Jason: *carefully pries the mug of espresso off Tim’s pale, trembling fingers*
Damian: *stealthily moves the butter knife away from Tim’s grasp*
Dick: *grabs Tim’s face and buries it on his chest in a tight hug*
Bruce: *closes the Gotham Gazette, stands up, then fireman-carries his heavily sleep-deprived son up to his room*
At a Justice League post-mission celebration…
Hal: *raises a glass for a toast* To the empowerage of words.
Bruce: To the irony of that sentence.
When Batman (inexplicably) asks Hellblazer to watch over his sons while he’s away on a mission…
Nightwing: *comes in through the front door of the Manor*
Hellblazer: Ah, the Golden Boy has returned. Release the doves!
Nightwing: Hi, Mr. Constantine.
Red Hood: *breaks a window in the foyer and climbs in*
Hellblazer: And you must be the second Robin. I have been thoroughly briefed on you and if you do one thing wrong, I’m going to go medieval on your arse.
Texting about an upcoming Justice League meeting…
Bruce: No sig oths.
Clark: Just say “significant others”.
Bruce: Maybe you have that kind of time, but I’m on a tight sched.
When your super best friend could give Saran wrap a lesson…
Batman: *ignores vibrations coming from his pocket*
Wonder Woman: How many times a day does Clark text you?
Batman: Hrrrn.
Batman: Just… 40.
Visiting the Titans Tower be like…
Green Lantern: Which one of you is Dick Grayson?
Robin: Oh, that’s me.
Green Lantern: Wait a second… Is your father Batman?
Robin: *proudly* Yup.
Green Lantern: You poor kid.
Meanwhile, on Earth 53… Mr. Fists-of-Justice.
(Heya, @zgirlly . He’s a cutie. Thanks for the submission.)
After a nasty argument with Bruce…
Red Hood: CROWBARS AND BOMBS MAY BREAK MY BONES –
Batman: *walks away and is finally out of earshot *
Red Hood: *sniffling*… but words will hurt me forever.
Bruce realizing that he needs to put in more effort in his relationship with Selina…
Bruce: If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that you can’t schedule love.
Alfred: I think your credit card statement would beg to differ.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 