Damian: *puts on noise-cancelling earphones after overhearing Bruce and Dick yelling at each other*
Damian: -Tt-
Damian: I hate it when father and father fight.
Tag: bruce wayne
Batman: Don’t do that, Dick. Not that look. Please. Don’t give me the sad eyes.
Nightwing: Please?
Batman: No. I’m not looking. I’m driving.
Nightwing: Come oooon.
Batman: You were never able to do this look before Damian came along. What did he do to you?
Truth be told, Dick didn’t even realize that he’d been doing it, that his youngest brother’d been using it on him all along like the tiny master manipulator that he was, and that he’d picked up the habit.
Wonder Woman: *viewing footage of Red Hood at the Watchtower* The dead son showed up. Alive.
Superman: Bruce made a mistake?
Wonder Woman: I know. It’s even starting to sound strange to me.
You know that end scene in “Justice League” (2017)?
Bruce: Can I start buying you things now?
Clark: No, you can’t. But, hey, I’ll tell you what. You can buy Lois stuff.
Bruce: I know you’d like a new tractor.
Clark: Lois would love a new tractor.
Uh huh, Clark.
Also, Bruce buying him things? Canon. And by “things”, I mean real estate property and stuff. And by “canon”, I mean canon, folks.
Nightwing [to Batman]: When it comes to coaching, Phil Jackson has nothing on you. *finger guns*
Hal: So the guy goes whacky?
Bruce: Hn. I was going to use more technical terms.
Hal: That’s why I interrupted you.
Bruce: My last will and testament is three hundred and twelve pages long.
Dick: Mine’s written on a sticky note. “Everything goes back to Batman.” But don’t worry, don’t worry. I used your real name to keep it legal.
GL Simon: *sees Batman across the room*
GL Simon: Is he looking at me like an angry school teacher?
GL Hal: Yeah. Yeah, he does that a lot.
Because when you recount your experiences in the hopes that your kids will learn something from them, there’s always that one son…
Batman: But to face a pack of parademons alone –
Red Hood: I’m sure you could just bore them to death with all your “justice” talk.
Batman: I always enjoy learning something.
Superman: Well, how about learning how to have fun, Bruce?
Meanwhile, Bruce’s Brain: “Cannot compute! Cannot compute!”
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