Tag: bruce wayne
Imagine: Bruce and Dick watching Tim and Damian spar in the Batcave, then realizing that things are starting to go… overboard.
When Batman tries to be a “fun dad”…
Bruce: I just booked us a little fishing trip.
Jason: Why, what did I do?
Bruce, Dick, Tim and Alfred: *run into Jason’s bedroom after hearing a scuffle from downstairs*
Jason: *has Damian pinned to the wall*
Damian: *choking Jason*
Jason: *struggling to talk* Nothing to be alarmed about, people. It’s just a man pointing a bull tranquilizer at his little brother.
Bruce, Dick, Tim and Alfred: *run into Jason’s bedroom after hearing a scuffle from downstairs*
Jason: *has Damian pinned to the wall*
Damian: *choking Jason*
Jason: *struggling to talk* Nothing to be alarmed about, people. It’s just a man pointing a bull tranquilizer at his little brother.
Patrolling with your best friend be like…
Superman: I just need you to not do that thing you do.
Batman: Hn. What thing? I don’t do a “thing”, Clark.
Superman: Yes, you do! You get all mean and you make that broody face, Bruce!
Yes, Damian and Jon, this is how your fathers behave when they’re not busy lecturing you on propriety.
Mornings at the Manor…
Tim: I’m losing my mind, guys. I sometimes touch the frayed part of the power cord just to feel something.
Alfred: *swiftly takes a step to the side to hide a frayed wire jutting from the kitchen wall*
Jason: *carefully pries the mug of espresso off Tim’s pale, trembling fingers*
Damian: *stealthily moves the butter knife away from Tim’s grasp*
Dick: *grabs Tim’s face and buries it on his chest in a tight hug*
Bruce: *closes the Gotham Gazette, stands up, then fireman-carries his heavily sleep-deprived son up to his room*
Planning a surprise birthday party for the Darkest of Knights be like…
Dick [to the rest of the Batfamily]: It’ll cheer Bruce up! He’ll be over the moon. He may even lean back in his chair and nod slightly.
Cue the stoic look on Alfred’s face and the bewildered, skeptical or mischevious one on everyone else’s.
Bruce: Tim, please keep an eye on Jason today. He’s going to say something to the wrong person and get himself arrested.
Tim: Sure. I’d love to see Jason get arrested.
Bruce: Try again.
Tim: I will stop Jason from getting arrested.
Bruce: Correct.
Bats, Lanterns, and League meetings…
Green Lantern (Simon): *sits down after watching Batman do the same*
Green Lantern (Hal): *rolls his eyes at him*
Simon: He just sat down. What am I suppose to do? He’s the boss.
Hal: No, he’s not!
Simon: He isn’t? Dang it, I cannot figure out who the boss of this team is!
But, to be safe, we usually assume it’s Bruce, so…
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