Damian: You are the worst vacation-taker in the world!
Damian: *stomps up the stairs, goes to his bedroom, and slams the door shut*
Bruce:
Alfred:
Bruce: *shrugs*
Alfred: *sighs, shakes his head, and walks away*
So your father left a realistic blow-up version of himself inside the tent then went off-planet to respond to a Justice League S.O.S. while you roasted marshmallows and waited six hours for him to come out and regale you with stories of his early vigilante days by a campfire…
He still loves you, kid.
Tag: bruce wayne
When a highly dangerous supervillain’s in town and your overprotective adoptive father orders you to “stay out of it”…
Nightwing: *noiselessly drops down from the ceiling in the middle of a heavily guarded warehouse*
Batman: *bruised, bloodied, bound to a metal contraption and on the verge of losing consciousness* D-Dick, what are you –
Nightwing: *disables the handcuffs* If you wanted a binding agreement, we should have pinky-sweared.
Batman: Dick, do you have any idea how worried I was?
Nightwing: Yeah, I do. I was gone for thirty-six hours. A year ago, you were gone for eight weeks.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Yeah, Bruce.
When you find out that your adoptive father’s been keeping a secret from you…
Batman: I didn’t do this to hurt you. I did it to protect you.
Nightwing: Then why am I so angry?
Batman: *turning on the Comm Link* Di –
Nightwing: *dropping down from the ceiling* Here I am, roguishly handsome and at your service. What do you need?
When your adoptive father and eldest brother question how you and Red Robin caused 5-million-dollars-worth of property damage on a simple recon mission…
Red Hood: Because we’re awesome and you two suck. Next question.
Releasing your grandson into the wild that is the Wayne Enterprises gala…
Alfred: *straightening Dick’s bowtie* Now, Master Richard, be charming but not too charming.
Dick: That’s like asking Superman not to be too super.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Or his adoptive father not to be too broody.
When your adoptive father starts lecturing you in the middle of patrol…
Red Hood: *yelling at two GCPD officers in a police car* Got a crime scene right here! Batman just killed the mood!
Family Patrol Night…
Red Robin [on the Comm Link]: You can fire us both for insubordination if you want, but we’ve got this.
Batman: *hears an explosion in the background*
Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: Batboys out. *click*
Red Robin: *click*
Batman:
Batman: *groans*
Batman: *reads article in Gotham Gazette about Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, and Robin, and around 5 million dollars-worth of property damage*
Batman: Hrrrn.
Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, and Robin: …
Batman:
Batman: *sighs*
Batman: *takes out check book*
Batman: I prefer you screw up while not wearing your uniforms.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 