Tag: bruce wayne

When you ask Batman how to contact Wonder Woman…

Bruce: I’ll text you her number. I like texting. Emoticons. 

Dick:

Tim:

Damian:

Jason: What the f –

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

So why do you keep making Jim use the Batsignal?

Superman: *watching the Gotham News Network channel on the Batcomputer* Sheesh. Can’t we get the news without the drama?

Batman: *working on a case* Can’t we get you without the flannel?

Wha – He’ll have you know that it happens to be a very practical and comfortable fashion choice on the farm, thank you.

Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: If I plan to do anything else stupid, I’ll let you know. Peace out!

Batman: *groans*

Or a study on the association between the number of gray hairs on Bruce Wayne’s head and the frequency at which he sends his sons on missions.    

Batfather’s Day…

Batman: *opens a blood-stained greeting card with a bullet hole in the middle*

Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: Did you see the hearts? It took me, like, six minutes.

~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~

In which Alfred gets teary-eyed from seeing the biggest grin he’s seen on his son’s face in years (and the card he himself got from his grandson).

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

On the rooftop where they first chased each other…

Bruce: *fidgeting with his cuff links (something old: was his father’s)*

Selina: *smoothening out her lacy, white dress (something new: picked by Harley and Ivy)*

Bruce: *glances at something in the evening sky*

Selina: *knows exactly what her fiancé’s been not-so-discreetly staring at behind her*

Selina: *sighs and grabs his face so that he’s looking her straight in the eye*

Selina: You are not allowed to die. Do you understand?

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

You know that end scene in “Justice League” (2017)?

Bruce: Can I start buying you things now?

Clark: No, you can’t. But, hey, I’ll tell you what. You can buy Lois stuff.

Bruce: I know you’d like a new tractor.

Clark: Lois would love a new tractor.

Uh huh, Clark.

Also, Bruce buying him things? Canon. And by “things”, I mean real estate property and stuff. And by “canon”, I mean canon, folks.

When you see footage of your father, who’s bruised, bloodied, bound and being taunted by a villanous metahuman, on the Batcomputer screen…

Nightwing:

Red Hood:

Red Robin:

Robin:

Alfred: *clears his throat*

Alfred: Boys, he wouldn’t want you involved –

Robin: *pulls his sword from its scabbard and releases Goliath from his cage*

Red Robin: *tracks the source of the footage and hacks into its system*

Red Hood: *reloads his guns and straps on explosives*

Nightwing: *lights up his escrima sticks* We’re already involved. We’re family, Alfred.

~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~

I mean it’s not as if Alfred left that footage to stream for you to “accidentally” find against Batman’s orders… Right?

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Mornings at the Manor…

Bruce: *drinking coffee, watching as his children gather in a small circle in the kitchen*

Tim: So, hands in.

Jason, Steph, Duke: *put their hands one on top of the other over Tim’s*

Tim: Defeat that little brat Damian on three! 1, 2, 3!

Bruce: *spits out coffee*

You kids just couldn’t at least let your father finish his coffee in peace, could you?