Family Patrol Night…
Batman: I will go in and do this quietly.
Red Hood: Well, if that doesn’t work, we will come in to make some noise. *cocks guns*
Nightwing: *lights up escrima sticks*
Red Robin: *twirls bo staff*
Robin: *brandishes sword*
Bonus:
Superman: *hovers and winks*
Bruce, what made you even think that they’d stay behind?
When you and your best friend get into a heated argument about fatherhood…
Bruce: *referring to the situation with Kon-El* Unlike you, I can’t just walk away from my children.
Clark: At least my children can look me in the eye and know that I never lie to them.
Batman: *rubs the bridge of his nose wearily*
Batman: I think you might be right.
Nightwing: That’s very good news! Care to elaborate?
Don’t push it, Richard.
When your adoptive father wants to have a private conversation with a colleague but you’re bored out of your mind and eavesdropping seems fun..
Nightwing [on the Comm Link]: *hanging from one of the ceiling stalactites in the Batcave* His mouth hasn’t moved in three and a half minutes.
Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: *crouching behind the glass case of his Robin uniform* Hal Jordan’s probably got him on hold.
Robin [on the Comm Link]: *sitting inside the dinosaur’s oral cavity* No, no. His nostrils are flaring. He’s pacing like a maniac.
Red Robin [on the Comm Link]: *viewing Batman from his own bedroom via a secret camera he installed on the Batmobile* And he just switched his phone from his right hand to his left hand like he wants to punch someone.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Perhaps because he knew that you boys have been listening in all along? Y’all ain’t slick.
Batman: *discussing the do’s and don’ts for an upcoming mission*
Red Hood [to The Signal]: *whispering* Don’t worry about it, man.
Red Hood: *gestures to his brothers and to himself* You’re kind of like a Robin now. We make our own rules.
Nightwing: *winks*
Red Robin: *grins*
Robin: *salutes*
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Bros before… broody, mood-killing, adoptive fathers clad in leather.
Superman: Being a superhero is a hard job to do.
Batman: And an even harder job to let go.
Batman: *walks into the Watchtower’s Hall of Justice*
Batman: *narrows his eyes* Hn.
Batman: *slowly turns on the light*
Everyone: SURPRISE, BRUCE!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! *confetti explosions, colorful bat-shaped balloons, tooting horns*
Batman: *wide-eyed, open-mouthed, and motionless*
Wonder Woman: *checks him for a pulse*
Superman: *whispers in his ear* I know it’s your specialty, but let’s try not to overthink this one, okay?
Aww, you guys! Don’t scare him like that.
Post-wedding downtime be like…
Dick: *looking on as Selina thanks the Justice Society for attending* That’s funny.
Bruce: *loosening his tie and drinking his third glass of wine* What’s funny?
Dick: She pulls ridiculous stunts and is crazy. She’s the female you. *pats him on the chest and walks away*
When your adoptive father’s being beaten up by Bane on national TV and you remember him ordering you to “stay out of it no matter what”…
Nightwing: *holding back angry tears*
Red Robin: *hacking into the satellites to disable public broadcasting*
Robin: *gripping his sword so hard that the handle nearly breaks*
Red Hood:
Red Hood: So what do we do now? Sit around and try not to die?!
Red Hood: *grabs his jacket and storms out of the Batcave*
When asked if she’d rather date Bruce or Clark…
Diana: Give me a stupid genius over a smart idiot any day.
Sooo… huh?
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